


“Let’s be friends. No less, no more. Let’s just start there.”

by kaaaiiiyooo



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-17 17:30:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 39,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17564894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaaaiiiyooo/pseuds/kaaaiiiyooo
Summary: - ORIGINALLY AN AU (you can check it out on my profile for photos @kaaaiiiyooo131)- purely fiction- all of these happened in my imagination only- iKON members are involved as iKON members and i’m going to be getting references from how I see (and “know” them) but their views and points in the story are purely made up by me and only me- photos are not mine nor do i claim any of it- could involve r-18 content- grammar isn’t perfect- this is the first time i’m writing from a first person POV so please don’t judge 😅 (i like challenging myself lol)- cc or dm me your thoughts/opinions/suggestions/reactions/ or if you think i’ve gone overboard or i’ve hit a sensitive topic you can let me know- will mostly be fluff- hope you like it 😊✌🏽





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> \- ORIGINALLY AN AU (you can check it out on my profile for photos @kaaaiiiyooo131)  
> \- purely fiction  
> \- all of these happened in my imagination only  
> \- iKON members are involved as iKON members and i’m going to be getting references from how I see (and “know” them) but their views and points in the story are purely made up by me and only me  
> \- photos are not mine nor do i claim any of it  
> \- could involve r-18 content  
> \- grammar isn’t perfect  
> \- this is the first time i’m writing from a first person POV so please don’t judge 😅 (i like challenging myself lol)  
> \- cc or dm me your thoughts/opinions/suggestions/reactions/ or if you think i’ve gone overboard or i’ve hit a sensitive topic you can let me know  
> \- will mostly be fluff  
> \- hope you like it 😊✌🏽

**PROLOGUE**

ERIN’S POV

June 9, 2018

5:51 pm

 

*sunny texts erin*

 

S: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

E: WHAT WHY WHAT WHAT ARE AIRLINE TICKETS TO GREECE ON SALE WHAT

S: iKONS HAVING A CONCERT NEXT MONTH OMG I'M GONNA CRY OMG OMG OMG 😭😭😭 I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS

E: 🙄🙄🙄

S: DONT 🙄 ME YOU PROMISED YOU'D COME

E: uhm no i didnt

S: *sends receipt* the concert’s at the 18th!!!!

E: OH MY GOSH I CANT I HAVE A FLIGHT THAT WEEKEND !!!

WE HAVE A FLIGHT THAT WEEKEND !!

S: OMG but this is important to me and you know how much i rant about missing them they’ve been MIA for so long now and I’m finally getting a chance to see them again please please please we have to go 😩

E: but it’s our last trip before school starts again

S: butttt you promised 😭😭😭😭😭

E: but japaaaaaan

and i dont know themmmm

there are fans much more deserving of the ticket you’re going to get me

S: i’ll tell you everything about them and I’ll let you hear their music I swear stan ikon you’ll live a better life so pleeeeaseeee you’re my only friend and I want you there with me i swear it’s going to be so much fun!!

E: I hate you so much

S: i knew you’d say yes!!!! you’re the bestest friend eveeerrrrr

and btw i knew last month and the ticket selling started earlier and I got us both tickets already ily you’re the best!

E: YA KIM SUN HEE!!!!!

 

 

Kim Sun Hee or as I call her, Sunny is my bestfriend. She’s the one person I could never say no to. We met when we were sophomore in college. She was in the same Intro to Photography class with me. We were assigned as partners for a project I don’t remember and we’ve been inseparable ever since.

 

We loved the same things: fashion, photography, and traveling. But there was one thing Sunny was crazy about that I didn’t understand, she was crazy about idols. Particularly the group named iKON. She talks about them 24/7 but I don’t really mind. She says they make her happy so why burst her bubble.

 

I’m Park Hae Rin.But my friends (well, friend, cause its mostly just Sunny now) call me Erin. I grew up in New York and transferred back for college. I’m a fashion student in SUNY Korea Fashion Institute of Technology (FIT). I know there’s SUNY in New York (cause duh State University of New York) and I could’ve studied there but I needed to get away. My parent’s are stuck in NY. I love them and they love me more than anything I’m just not sure they feel the same way about each other anymore. Home has been messy and toxic and sad and I felt like it was draining; emotionally, mentally and sometimes physically. I thought maybe it could also be a chance to give my parents time to rekindle their relationship. I don’t know. I’m not really expecting anything from them anymore. It’d be a miracle if they find their way back to each other but who knows right?

 

I’m taking up a double major. Couldn’t choose between photography and fashion business management so why not take both right? I’ve always wanted to work as a stylist and put up my own company. I’ve also thought about becoming a model but i’m shy as fuck so that’s a no.

 

Anyway, I think i’ve been writing so much now. It’s exciting to write inside a new journal. Or is this me trying to escape from cleaning my room?

 

I close the journal Sunny had given me as a gift for making it to the last year of college. I put it on my bedside table and start making my bed. I just moved to a new apartment, a bigger one. My parents got me the new place for working so hard. It’s a bit further to school but it doesn’t matter. I have more closet space now.

 

 

CHAPTER 1 

ERIN’S POV

 

*days after*

 

July 12, 2018

2:09 pm

 

S: let’s go get bingsu!!!

E: where?

S: anywhere. jebal i’m cravingggg

E: can we go to hongdae i have a bunch of films i need to get developed

S: we have a red room in school you know

E: it was crowded

S: alright. meet you there in an hour?

E: sure thing

 

2:41 pm

 

I decide to go to Hongdae earlier that our meeting time since developing films took about at least thirty minutes. I walk to the shop and I hand out three rolls of film to the owner. He takes them from my hand and he heads to the back of the store where the red room was. I take a seat at the corner of the shop where there were seats to wait in to and wait. I watch an old man enter the shop and take out an old camera from his vintage leather bag. He asked if they could get it fixed and the owner was happy to assist him. He fills out forms and he leaves his camera to get fixed.

 

Nobody really came in stores like this anymore. Well you get high quality photos from your phones now so why bother buying films and taking the effort to get it developed. But for me, I liked it. I loved the sound of a film that’s newly inserted in a camera and i love the sound a camera’s makes when you’ve finished up a roll. I love walking from the bus stop to this shop and I love anticipating how my photos would turn out to be.

 

Another guy enters the shop. He was probably in his thirtees. Skinny and he had Harry Potter glasses on. He looked at the films displayed on the shelf at the right side of the store. There were at least 24 different ones. He looked at them one by one but it seemed like he didn’t know what he was looking for. He takes out his phone from his pocket and he dials a number.

 

“Hanbin ah they don’t have it.” He says. I wasn’t eavesdropping. It’s just that the store was small so every conversation was heard by every person inside. “Put a mask on.” He says to the person he was speaking to and he puts the phone back to his pocket.

 

“Erin ssi.” The owner shouts out my name. I get up from my seat excitedly and I approach the glass counter totally forgetting about the other guy in the room. He hands me an envelop and I take out the photos from it. I spread them out on top of the glass counter pretty pleased with my work. There were photos of my trip in Bangkok last month with Sunny and some random shots I took in school.

 

“You’re really good.” The owner says as he takes one of the photos from the counter.

 

I smile from ear to ear and I thank him. I love it when people appreciate my work.

 

I put the photos back to the envelop one by one until someone from my right side speaks.

 

“What camera do you use?” A guy asks. It was a different guy from the one wearing glasses. I wasn’t sure if the question was for me so I turn around to see if he was talking to someone else but we were the only ones there. When I turned back around, he was staring at me with those almond shaped eyes anticipating for an answer.

 

“Oh. I’m sorry I thought you were talking to someone else, ugh I use a- an Olympus Pen EE-3.” I tell him.

 

“That’s weird. I use the same camera but why are your shots better?” He says and laughs hopefully at himself and I blush.

 

“Ahjussi, do you have films for my Olympus?” He asks the owner.

 

The owner points up the shelves at the corner of the shop and the guy with the Harry Potter glasses goes to pick up three rolls of film. The guy, probably the Hanbin the Harry Potter guy was talking to earlier, opens the carton up and inserts the roll in his camera.

 

“Can you teach me?” He asks me.

 

I look at the store owner and he nods his head encouraging me to teach the Hanbin guy. Hanbin hands me his camera and I take it.

 

“Just point and shoot.” I tell him.

 

I take the camera to my eye and I adjust the lens. I point at the shop owner and I snap a photo of him. I shrug cause I honestly didn’t get what he needed help with and I hand him back his camera. I go back to my photos on top of the table counter. I grab my hair to tie and Hanbin points his camera at me. I look at him with both my hands in my hair and the flash goes off while my face was probably the worst it could be.

 

Hanbin takes the camera away from his eye and he smirks. He’s probably trying to control his laugh at how ugly I was.

 

“Well, I got what I needed. Ahjussi thank you for the film. I’ll come back when I run out.” Hanbin politely says to the shop owner. He looks at me and says, “Thanks for your help.”

 

“Hanbin ah we gotta go.” The guy with the Harry Potter glasses say. Hanbin waves one more time to the shop owner, pulls his face mask up to his nose, and exits the shop without looking back.

 

“Good guy that young man.” The store owner tells me as I pulled out my phone from my purse to text Sunny.

 

“He comes here often?” I ask curiously.

 

“Not really. He’s a really busy young man as you know.” He says. I didn’t know what he was talking about but I didn’t want to seem interested in him so I didn’t ask what he did. “He bought all his camera’s here. He asked me to teach him the first time he went. Taught him the basics. He seems eager to learn. He’s been coming back every chance he gets.”

 

I nod and smile. I came to that shop often but it was the first time I saw him there. Seeing a guy around my age being interested with the classics and vintage stuff was actually refreshing. Maybe he’s the one for me?

 

Sunny calls my cell as soon as I stepped out of the shop ruining my imagination and hopes into finally getting into a relationship.

 

“Where are you?” Sunny asked in a slight panic.

 

“The camera shop. Why? Are you okay?”

 

“Stay there!”

 

Sunny drops the call leaving me confused as to why. I see her running from the corner of the block towards my direction.

 

She goes straight in the shop completely ignoring me and walks out, still panting, after a few seconds.

 

“Damn it!” She shouts out.

 

“Uhm hello? What’s happening?” Has she finally gone crazy?

 

“I missed him! Why didn’t you tell me you were coming here?”

 

“Since when did you want to come with me to a camera shop?”

 

“Since never. But BI was here!!”

 

I finally got what she was talking about. “Oh. iKON?”

 

She nods.

 

“Wrong shop. There wasn’t an idol here.” I tell her.

 

“What? But my mutual said he was in this shop.”

 

“Nope. No one famous came here. I was here since thirty minutes ago. I was inside the whole time.”

 

“Ugh, never mind. Let’s go get bingsu.” Sunny takes my arm and wraps it around her. We walk to our favorite bingsu place and we (and when i say we I mean she) talks about more of her “boys.”

 

HANBIN’S POV

 

“Hanbin ah they don’t have it.” Jaeho hyung tells me through the phone.

 

“Pick anything there. Any 35mm film. Ask the owner. Never mind never mind i’ll go there.”

 

“Put a mask on.”

 

I put my phone in the front pocket of my hoodie and I pull up my mask to my nose. I get out of the car and rush to the store.

 

As usual, there wasn’t anyone there except for the owner and a girl with her back faced the door. I pull down my mask and I greet the store owner. I walk up to Jaeho hyung who was still looking for the films I asked him to get.

 

I notice the girl looking through the photos scattered on the glass counter of the store. I stand a few feet behind her and peek through the photos.

 

“You’re really good.” The store owner tells her. She took the photos. The girl smiles from ear to hear after she received the compliment. It was true though, her photos were good.

 

“What camera do you use?” Did I just ask that out loud? Dumbass. I’m starting to get nervous. I think I have social anxiety.Jaeho hyung looks at me with shock. He too can’t believe I just spoke with a stranger.

 

The girl looks at me upon hearing my voice and looks behind her. She thought I was talking to someone else. This is embarrassing.

 

“Oh. I’m sorry I thought you were talking to someone else, ugh I use a- an Olympus Pen EE-3.” Why’d she apologize? There wasn’t a need to apologize. And oh, she doesn’t know me. I’m not saying everyone’s supposed to know me but it’s the first time I bump into someone and not shouting as soon as they see me. Kinda nice.

 

“That’s weird. I use the same camera but why are your shots better?” Maybe she just has a good eye dumbass. I hate myself.

 

I look at the girl’s face and her cheeks start to turn red. Cute. She likes being complimented. Well who doesn’t?

 

Jaeho hyung clears his throat and takes my attention. I forgot I was here to buy something. “Ahjussi, do you have films for my Olympus?”

 

He points at the corner of the store and Jaeho hyung walks towards the shelves. He takes three boxes and he hands them to me. I place them in the counter and I pay for them.

 

The girl beside me was placing her photos back to the envelop one by one.

 

I take one of my new films and insert one into my camera.

 

“Can you teach me?” What the hell is wrong with me today?! It’s literally a point and shoot camera what’s there not to know?! This girl must think i’m weird or crazy.

 

She takes the camera from my hand and her soft fingers brush through my palm.

 

“Just point snd shoot.”

 

She takes the camera to her eye and she focuses the lens at the store owner. She snaps a photo of him and she hands me back the camera. She looks at me and we meet eye to eye. She had hazelnut colored eyes. Could be lenses, who knows. But they were pretty.

 

She turns back to fix her photos and she takes her hands to her hair. She looks even pretties with her hair away from her face. I take a snap of her while she pulled her hair up.

 

She looks at me eyes wide as it can probably be. She looked like an owl. Cute. And now i’m smiling. She’s probably thinking i’m a creep. This is why I don’t have a girlfriend. Let’s pretend none of that happened.

 

“Well, I got what I needed.” Who am I talking to? “Ahjussi, thank you for the film. I’ll come back again if I run out.”

 

Do I say good bye to her? “Thank you for your help.” She looks back at me and smiles.

 

“Hanbin ah we gotta go.” I almost forgot Jaeho hyung was with me.

 

He takes my waist and drags me to the door. I wave to the store owner and he waves back at me before I’m completely out of the store.

 

“What was that?” Jaeho hyung asks trying to stop himself from laughing.

 

I put on my seatbelt on and he begins to drive.

 

“I honestly don’t remember anything I said in there. Was it that bad?”

 

“You could’ve been cooler.” He snorts.

 

“Aigoo hyung why am I like this?”

 

“It’s okay. She doesn’t know you and you won’t see her again anyway.”

 

“You’re right. Let’s just go home and forget about the attempt I made to talk to a girl today.”


	2. Is she?

CHAPTER 2 

ERIN’S POV

*later that night*

7:54 pm

I come home to my new apartment and I scatter my photos in the bed. I sort them out and leave out the favorites. I take a tape from the drawer of my study table and I tape the photos in my wall beside the other ones. 

I stare at them with a feeling if satisfaction. And while I do, the guy from earlier’s face cross my mind. 

I sit down on my desk chair and I take the journal Sunny gave me. I spell out his name with my favorite pink pen. “한빈” His name was rare. Only a few people in Korea had that name. In fact, he’s the only person I know who has that name. 

I get butterflies in my tummy. Weird. I rarely get attracted to guys especially that fast. And I just admitted that I was attracted to him. What the heck? 

He was pretty though. Not Park Bo Gum pretty but he was pretty. He had these almond shaped eyes with pupils as dark as the night sky. And I think the best part about him was that he had imperfections. His nose was I think a little too big for his face but it suited him. His lips were pink and plump. He had a bandaid on his right cheek, probably because of a pimple. And he had the softest hands. He probably didn’t work? 

But now I realize i managed to see all that in him in that period of time. OMG WAS I STARING AT HIS FACE UNCONSCIOUSLY? I hope I wasn’t! 

I guess it’s okay to like a person you don’t know. Sometimes I think it’s even better to know a few good things about a person because once you learn more about them, there are more chances to dislike them. I guess it’s okay to like him. Or at least the thought of him. 

August 14, 2018

5:12 pm

Sunny has been MIA since the start of the month. iKON had a comeback and whenever there are comebacks I can never force her to do stuff with me. She takes fangirl-ing very seriously. I don’t know where she fins the time whenever there’s school. And she’s got better grades than I do. Should I start fangirl-ing too to get better grades? 

She just came back from Japan because she attended a fan meet in Chiba. She invited me to come but I refused since all she was going to do there was, well, fangirl. If only i’d known we wouldn’t be making it to Japan this weekend, I would’ve went. Sometimes I hate her. 

Since she was gone, I had time to finish up decorating my new apartment and i’ve been applying to different internships programs. It’s my last year in college and I have a lot of free time so I’ve been sending out my CV’s to company’s I dream to work with. I haven’t heard back from anyone yet but I got my hopes up. 

*Sunny texts Erin*

S: are you busy?  
E: not really? why what are you up to?  
S: let’s go to sangam-dong  
E: what’s in sangam-dong  
S: there’s an italian restaurant i’ve been wanting to try  
i hear their beef is good  
E: sounds good. what time?  
S: let’s meet at around 7?  
E: k see you then  
S: 💋

*tweets*

“What time is it?” Sunny asks. 

“8:43”

“Oh my god we have to go!”

Sunny calls for a waiter to ask for the bill. 

“I wasn’t done eating yet. And where are we going?”

“MBC!! iKON has a radio guesting tonight. We’re gonna watch.”

“You said we were having dinner!”

“We just had dinner.” 

“This wasn’t part of the plan!”

“Yeah but if I told you you would’ve thought of a reason not to come.”

The waiter comes back to our table with the bill and Sunny takes it in a speed of light. 

“My treat. I love you. Come with me.” She begs as she holds her credit card and the bill holder newr her ches. 

“As if I have a choice?”

She grins widely and she hands the bill holder to the waiter.

MBC building was only a few blocks. When we arrive, there were so many people by the window of the radio station. The street was full of screams and squeals. 

Sunny joins in the group of girls and tried to push and shove the other ones so that she can get to the front. She was aggressive like that. This is probably going to last a while so I look around the street to search for a place to wait in. I text Sunny the name of the coffee shop to let her know I was there and she replies with “Give me five minutes.” Of course I didn’t believe her. 

I sit back and sip my coffee as I waited. I checked my email to see if some of the company’s i’ve applied into replied but I got nothing. Zero. Nada. It was getting kind frustrating. My grades were above average, my extra-curricular activities are, well, extra. I had certificates from seminars and workshops I attended. It was impossible that no one wanted me. 

I try to erase the job hunting from my mind because it was stressing me out. I have a fee more days before school starts again so I gotta enjoy my remaining days stress free. 

Almost an hour later, Sunny texts me saying the show was wrapping up. I take my iced coffee and decide to wait for her across the street of the building. I assume the show wasn’t done yet because the girls were still gathered up by the window. 

I wait patiently across the street with my coffee in one hand. My phone rings from the fanny pack I brought. I take it out and I see an unknown number. I smile widely hoping it’s one of the companies I sent my cv’s to. 

“Hello?” I answer. 

“Good evening Miss Park. This is Park Minji from Nike. Is this a good time to talk?”

Did my payment for the last shoe I ordered didn’t go through? Why the heck is Nike calling me?

“We have received your application and went through your portfolio and amongst 2000+ other applicants, we’ve decided that you fit in the best to be our new Nike girl. That’s only if you’re still willing to take our offer.”

“Uhm, I think you got the wrong number. Sorry.”

“Isn’t this Park Hae Rin from SUNY FIT?”

“Yeah, but...” I blank out for a second. 

“Ms. Park?”

“Yeah. I’m still here. Sorry. Uhm, thank you...”

“Okay that’s great! I’ll email you the details of our contract signing and your schedule. Looking forward to working with you!” And then she drops the call. 

Okaaaayyyy what was that about??? What application and what portfolio??? I’m confused. I don’t remember sending out an application and a portfolio to Nike. And if I did, it would be in design or styling or photography not as a model. I know I applied to a number of companies but I’m pretty sure Nike wasn’t one of them. This is making em anxious. 

I try to calm myself down. Probably just a prank call right? But that was good. Damn good. I almost believed her. Why would Nike call me? And as a “Nike girl.” Lol never. 

The show must be over because guys in masks are leaving the building and the girls are screaming. Sunny runs to me and starts talking about the radio show she just watched. 

“Waahh!! They sound so good live. And that new song, Killing Me, that song better win Song of the Year because it’s an effin’ bop!!”

She looks up to me and notices my thoughts are bothering me. “What’s up with you?” 

“Nothing. A girl called me saying she was from Nike and that I got chosen to be their new Nike girl. Prank call.”

Sunny’s mouth drops to the ground. “Are you kidding me?!!! OMG Erin this is so great OMG!!!” She hugs the hell out of me like a proud mom. 

“No. I didn’t apply. It was a prank call.” I explained. Sorry to have burst her bubble. She looked sincerely proud though. 

“Okay, I know you said you wanted to be a model but you’re anxious af and you think you won’t be good enough, well I sort of arranged the photos I took of you modeling for our photography class and made a portfolio out of it and I was looking for a good company to send it to until I saw a Nike ad and I thought it was a good idea so I filled out an application form for you and submitted it. OH MY GOD I KNEW YOU’D GET IN ERIN THIS IS SO GREAT NIKE OMG!!!!!!!!!” 

“YOU DID WHAT?!!!! SUNNY I’M GOING TO KILL YOU I CAN’T DO THIS. NO.” Anxiety is already building up. I’m get so nervous I could hardly breathe. 

“Erin, look at me, have you seen yourself in those photos?” I shake my head. “Well I have and our professors have and our classmates have and nobody, not even one said you weren’t good enough or you aren’t model material. You are and you have to start believing in yourself. I know you want this but I also know you’re scared. I’m here. I’ll come to your first shoot if you need me to. This is big. It’s fucking Nike, Erin.”

My phone vibrates and I get an email from the company with regards to the schedule of my contract signing and my first shoot. ai open the email with Sunny by my side and we read it out together. 

“You haven’t even signed the contract but they’ve given you a schedule already. They must really want you.” Sunny says but i’m sure she’s just saying that to make me feel better. 

I take a deep breath and I let it out. “Do you really think I can do this?”

“I know you can.” She sounds really convincing. I just wish I was doing this with her. 

I look at my phone once again and I smile. 

“Oh my gosh we’re going to get free shoes!!!” Sunny squeals and I laugh. I wrap my arm around her shoulder and we walk and leave the streets of Sangam-dong side by side. 

HANBIN’S POV

I hate it when the members are feeling under the weather. Especially when there’s a schedule. We’re not used to variety shows and radio guestings. Today was just as hard as the first one. Junhoe’s sick with a flu so he didn’t do much talking. Jinani and Donghyuk isn’t feeling that good either. Bobby hyung doesn’t speak until he’s asked something. So does Chanwoo. 

I’m not blaming the boys though. We’ve been working. nonstop this year and it’s only August. We have a few more months left. It was just hard. I’m not feeling too good myself. Jinani brought this flu into our house and it’s getting us one by one. Just thankful the day’s over. 

I greet Yoseob sunbaenim good bye before leaving the station. I walk out the building and Jaeho hyung assists me to the car parked across the street. I see fans waving and screaming while walking out. I wish I could say hi to everyone. 

I get in the car and wait for the other’s to come. I recline the car seat downwards so that I can lie down. It’s almost been 5 minutes since I came but the other’s haven’t come out yet. I’m tired and sleepy I just want to go. 

I adjust the chair back up and I notice a girl standing alone. It’s the girl from the camera shop. Is she a fan? It didn’t seem like she knew me when we met. And she doesn’t seem like she’s interested at waiting for us to come out like the other girls across the street.

I can’t stop looking at her. I watch her take her phone out of her bag and I watch her lips curve upwards as she looks at the caller ID. She’s smiling. Must be her boyfriend.

I watch her as she talked to her boyfriend and I noticed she stopped smiling. Are they fighting? The guy just cut her off while she was talking! She’s going out with a jerk. Why do girls like jerks and bad boys? I really don’t get it. It doesn’t make them cooler. 

But the real question is, why does the fact that she has a boyfriend make me feel uneasy? And why do I care if she dates a jerk or not? I don’t even know her. Have I gone crazy? Or maybe I really am just sad. 

I watch her more until the call ends. Her brows meet in the middle. She’s frowning. But she doesn’t look sad. She looks more confused than sad or mad.

A girl runs up to her excitedly. Oh, she’s the fan. She has Donghyuk’s photo as her phone wallpaper. The fan’s jumping around excitedly. I’m even more curious now what the call was about. Ooh, the girl from the camera shop’s mad. I should giver her a name. ‘Girl from the camera shop’ is kinda long. 

Hmmm, what’s a pretty name? B-byeongcheol? Oh Byeongcheol. Ha! I’m such a genius. Oh, she’s not mad anymore. I missed what happened I shouldn’t have spent so much time thinking of a name. 

She’s smiling. She’s smiling at her phone. Maybe her boyfriend texted her again? Girls are weird. One minute their mad and the next minute they’re happy and in love. Girls are scary. 

I watch her smile and she talks to her friend again. She takes her arm around her and she giggles. They walk towards the other street side by side. Yeppeo. 

Yunhyeong opens the car door startling me. 

“Mwoya? Why are you so jumpy?” he asks. 

I roll my eyes at him and I recline my chair down again. As I slid down slowly, I see her walking farther away from where she was earlier. 

“Why are you smiling?” Chanwoo asks. I didn’t even notice him get in. 

“Who? Me? I’m not smiling.” Cause I really wasn’t smiling. 

“If you’re smiling and you don’t know you’re smiling, something’s wrong with you.” He says and Yunhyeong laughs. 

I ignore them both and I put on my earphones. 

Will I ever see her again? I wish I do. And I wish the next time I do, I get to talk to her again. Or even know her name. Could she be a fan? She could be. But she has a boyfriend. Oh, she has a boyfriend. Are girls with boyfriends allowed to talk to other guys? If I was her boyfriend, would I get mad if she talked to other guys? I probably would. Guys would fall for her as soon as they see her. She’s way to pretty. 

How lucky her boyfriend must be? He must be boasting around for having such a pretty girlfriend. And she’s not only pretty. She’s very talented too. 

August 18, 2018

9:59 am

ERIN’S POV

“I told you to wear red!!” The first words that come out of Sunny’s mouth when she enters my apartment. 

“I am wearing red.” I point to my lips. 

“Please change? Please? My boyfriend literally did a VLIVE saying we should all wear red so we should.”

“That mean everyone there is wearing red. You should stand out if you want them to notice you. You change.”

“We’re wasting arguing can you just go back to your room and change?”

I swear no one takes fangirl-ing seriously more than Sunny. She doesn’t even try to hide it (well she does but she sucks at being lowkey about it). 

I go to my room and change. I don’t even have red! Ugh! I take my clothes out of my closet to look for a red top but all I have is a sweater. And it’s summer. 

I open my bedroom door and shout out. “Sunny, this is the only red top I have. If you’re going to let me wear this, don’t expect me to walk around the venue and ask for freebies because it’s freaking hot outside. I’m staying at a coffee shop.”

“Deal! Now hurry!!!!”

I change into the red cropped sweater and take out my red baseball cap. If she’s not satisfied at how red I am I will leave her. 

We take an uber to the venue. While on the way, she takes out to red bats from her canvass bag. 

“Which one do you want? The Japan version or the Korean version?” 

“What’s this for?” 

“It’s a light sick. We wave it around later. If you see a different light stick other than this red one, you can also use it to smack the person holding it.”

“Being a fangirl is intense. It kinda excites me. I want the longer one.”

She gives me the longer bat and I take it. This is my first KPOP concert so I really don’t know what to expect but I’ll try to have fun as much as I can. I’ve heard some of their songs whenever I hang out with Sunny and they’re actually pretty good. 

We get off the car right outside a coffee shop and we enter. Yep, everyone inside was wearing red. We order two iced coffees and take photos to post before Sunny leaves me to lineup for the merch and to ask for freebies. The effort that these girls do. These boys are pretty lucky. 

*tweets*

After a few hours, it was time to lineup for the soundcheck. Sunny was obviously freaking out. We git in the venue and the girls run as fast as they can to get a spot at the barricades. I tell Sunny to go and leave me here at the back and she runs towards the other girls and squeezes herself in until she’s at the front. 

We wait a few minutes more before the boys come out from backstage. The girls scream their lungs out and they sing a long to the songs played. The songs were definitely familiar to me but I knew none of the lyrics so I couldn’t sing a long. 

I watch the boys perform and interact with their fans. I wonder if they do it for show or they’re really sincere? My thoughts start to wonder a lot of things but there was one thing I was sure of, the guy with the purple hair was hot. And so does the guy with the blonde hair. He came close to our side earlier and I’m guessing it was Donghyuk. I’ve seen his photos enough to know him. The guy with the black hair also looks sooooo good. And when I say the one with the black hair I meant the 4 of them because they all had black hair. There’s this one guy I haven’t seen the face yet. He was wearing a weird hat covering his eyes. Bad hair day? 

I watch him walk towards the guy with the purple hair and he whispers something in his ear. They both look at my direction and oh my gosh did I just blush. The guy with the purple hair.. what was his name? B.. b.. Bobby!! That’s right! The rapper!! Wait he’s waving at my direction. Should I wave back? Maybe he’s waving at the girls in front of me? I should just stay still. AND MAYBE STOP STARING AT HIM. Okay he left. Who is this guy with the weird hat? I really want to see his face. They all look good I want to see if there’s an odd man out. Kidding. But i’m really curious as to what he looks like. His lips are pretty though. And oddly familiar. I hate Sunny. I feel like I know everyone and I just can’t remember because I know i’ve seen and watched them all on TV I just didn’t care. 

HANBIN’S POV

1:18 pm

Concert day. I only slept for a few hours since we spent our night rehearsing until early morning. It’s been over two years since our last concert and we want everything to be perfect. I’m honestly nervous and scared but the feeling of excitement beats everything else. I can’t wait to sing and dance and I can’t wait for our iKONICS to sing a long with us. I hope they dance around and have fun just like how I imagine them to. I turned into VLIVE last night before going to bed to tell them about the chant they need to do later. I hope they remember and spread the word. I need to beat Bobby hyung. 

We arrive at the venue and we get ready for soundcheck. One last final soundcheck with just us then another round where our fans can watch us rehearse. It’s a pretty good idea though. I want our fans to be as involved with us as much as they can. I really think we have the best fans in the world. All they ever did for us this past year was protect us and fight with whoever said shit about us. It’s not even their fault. I feel bad because they have the need to defend us. I wish they didn’t. I wish we were better so that no one would talk shit about us. But i’ll continue working hard. For my boys and for our girls. 

We take our mics on top of the huge speakers from backstage and we walk out one by one. We decided to perform the songs that aren’t a part of the setlist during the soundcheck. 

Our girls scream out loud when we step out. We introduce ourselves one by one and we start singing ‘Adore You’. Soundcheck’s aren’t choreographed so we can walk around and interact with our dear iKONICS. I walk towards the right side of the stage and sit by the edge of it. The other’s are busy taking videos and photos and the other’s were just watching and singing along. I notice a girl a few feet behind the other girls watching us from afar. She bopping her head to the beat and she’s looking at someone. I check to see who it is. Bobby. Of course. 

I like being on top of the stage. I like performing. I think this was what I was really made to do. I’m lucky I get to do it. I like watching the fans dance and jump around to our music. And I like watching them go crazy about the other boys. I’ll never understand why these girls like us but i’m thankful. 

I walk towards Bobby and I whisper to wave to the girl at the back. She’s been staring at him. We both look at the girl and Bobby waves at her. She doesn’t wave back though. Wait, that girl, Oh Byeongcheol?!!! 

I walk closer until i’m at the edge of the stage and take a closer look. It is her! I guess she really is a fan. But obviously not of me because she’s still looking at Bobby hyung. 

The fans in front of me laugh and call out my name. I stop staring at the girl at the back and I hear the fans yell out, “Oppa you missed your queue. It’s your part.” I snap out of my thoughts and laugh. I rap to my part and finish up the soundcheck. We head backstage for hair and make up before the real stage starts. 

 

5:01 pm

ERIN’S POV

The seats are full and the lights starts to dim. Everyone raises their bats up and they scream at the top of their lungs. The VCR has started to play and the photos of the members are shown one by one. I turn on my red bat and I raise it up along with others. I take a photo of the view from my film camera and I turn it off. Everyone’s phones were up. The boys start to appear an the screams get louder. Music starts. My heart beats at the same time the music does. Powerful. 

“BLING BLING!” The fans shout together. I laugh of amusement. I’m starting to understand Sunny. She once told me that KPOP concerts are the best and i’m starting to believe her. And this show has just started. It was fascinating to hear the fans sing al long together. They chant to the music as loud as they could and they scream as loud as they could. They dance and take videos and wave the bats at the same time. Being a fangirl is hard work. I can’t imagine myself doing what they’re doing. It’s heartwarming to see how dedicated and passionate they are towards this group. And I’ll say this again, lucky boys. 

The second song has ended and they start to gather up the extended stage in front. The girls start to push forward. I wonder if Sunny’s okay by the barricades? 

I focus myself back to the performance and I look for the guy with the purple hair. He was at the back dancing while someone rapped in the front. I knew Bobby was a known for being rapper but I didn’t know their other rapper. I watch the other rapper as he spit bars. He looks familiar. Uh duh, Sunny. Oh my gosh!! Not just Sunny. He’s the guy from the camera shop!! HE’S AN IDOL?!!!! Wait I hope it’s not him maybe i’m mistaken. Please please please don’t let the guy from the camera shop be an idol please!!! 

The song ends and they stand side by side with a fee feet a part from each other. They’re all panting. That was a pretty intense intro. 

They say hello and they proceed to introduce themselves one by one. They start off with Bobby. When it was the guy’s turn who I wish wasn’t the guy from the coffee shop, he shouts out “This is the reason why i’m an idol” and laughs. The members laugh at him. Oh my gosh he really does look like the guy from the shop. 

“I’m iKON’s leader BI. It’s nice to see all of you.” 

iKON. Leader. BI. I take out my phone and I google those three words. His photos come up and so does his profile along with all his information. I click on the link and read. 

Name: BI/Kim Hanbin  
Birthday: October 22, 1996  
etc..

My heart sinks. There goes my dream boy. UGH. This is the first time I have a crush on someone for years and he turns out to be an idol. That makes me one of the hundreds of thousands of girls (and even guys) who like him. Sad. This is so sad. I am so sad. 

Why is the universe so cruel? My hopes of having a boyfriend who loves the same thing as I do is now crushed. I actually looked forward to seeing him again at the shop. Yes I met him once and yes I thought about him as my future boyfriend. Yes, it’s shallow but awwwwww... I guess I just have to look for a new imaginary future boyfriend. Who know how long that will take now?

I forget about my imaginary future boyfriend and enjoy the rest of the show. I find myself jumping around and dancing sometimes screaming along with the fans. These guys are really good. Like REALLY REALLY GOOD. The last time I had this much fun was at a Coldplay concert. And yes, same level (of fun). They’re this good. AND I’M NOT EVEN A FAN. 

During the encore, the boys perform at least 5 more songs before the last ment. They stop after one song to tell everyone to sing along to Love Scenario. The fans sing out the lyrics as loud as they can and the boys run around the stage to greet everyone.

I see Sunny at the other side of the pit obviously looking for me. I shout out her name and she runs to me. 

“I’m going to die up there. It’s so hot and people are getting sweaty and they’re pushing. I can’t. I don’t know how I lasted two hours in front. Are you having fun?” She asks, still panting from running. One thing Sunny hated, sweat. She didn’t mind her own sweat but she hated it when sweaty people touched her. 

“Surprisingly, yes.” 

She smiles of satisfaction and she holds my hand. She raises our hands up and we jump along the the song together. 

Dance songs start playing the the crowd gets crazier as the night got deeper. I’m officially drained but I can’t help but dance along. The energy in this stadium is wild. 

During the last ment. They talked about how grateful they are and they talk about their future plans. One member read a thank you letter out loud and everyone starts crying. Including Sunny who was right beside me. Everyone was shouting “Uljima.” 

I don’t know what these boys have been through but I know they’ve been through hell and back. Sure they’re talented but within the last three hours I noticed a few things. Their passion for their craft and their sincerity towards their fans. I’ve been saying how lucky these boys are to have such fans but if I were a fan, I’d consider myself lucky too. 

I watch the guy reading the letter cry and after he did, their leader was the one to speak. He, too, was crying. 

“I never thought I’d be touched with Yunhyeong hyungs words ever in my life.”

He laughs and we all laugh with him. 

He talks about how he was pooping yesterday and he was watching videos of them from WIN and the crowd cries louder. His talks word for word since he was crying and his voice cracked while he spoke. 

He talks about how it wasn’t easy for them to be where they are now and how hard it was for the fans and he talks about how he’s been wanting to see everyone. He thanks everyone for loving the song Love Scenario which opened so much doors for them this year and he introduces the next song, Climax. 

The song starts and the crowd cried and sang together with the boys. 

He could be lying. He could be just saying those words because he was on stage or because people were filming him. He could just be a good actor for crying. But everyone bought it and everyone felt it. 

I felt it. 

The show went on for another round of dancing and partying after climax before it had officially ended. Sunny, who probably ran back to the front earlier because Donghyuk was crying too, went back to where she left me and we go out of the venue together. 

HANBIN’S POV

I did not expect to cry tonight. I expected Jinani and Yungyeongie to but not me. How embarrassing. I also feel bad for making our iKONICS cry. Tonight was supposed to be nothing but a fun night. But I guess, the crying came with the fun.

That was one hell of a show. I’m exhausted but I want to do it again. I’ve never had this much fun. I wish our fans feel the same every time we perform. 

I remembered Oh Byeongcheol earlier. I tried looking for her. I even made a telescope with my hands. Don’t get me wrong, it works. But I didn’t see her. Did she leave? She probably left after seeings us cry. Or maybe she was just at the far back. Maybe she doesn’t like our songs? Ahh, I think she’s just Bobby’s hyung’s fan. Maybe she came just because of Bobby. Well, yeah Bobby’s cool. And I can’t expect everyone to like our music because that’s just impossible. Even some people hate BIGBANG sunbaenim’s music. And they’re kind of the king of this industry. I just don’t really get why? Is it because they have poor taste in music? Or is it us that have poor taste in music? But we’re the majority so who doesn’t really matter who has poor taste in music. 

I drive home together with Jaeho hyung, who drived the car, Chanwoo and Yunhyeongie. The two were asleep at the back seats. Today was really tiring. But I don’t mind getting tired like this if I get this much happiness in return. 

“Jaeho hyung, you were wrong. I saw her again.”

“Saw who?”

“The pretty girl from the camera shop.”

“Jinjja? Where?”

“I saw her twice, she was at the station the other night and I saw her during soundcheck earlier.”

“So she’s a fan? Could she be a sasaeng?”

“Oh, I didn’t even think of that. But she seemed like she wasn’t interested in us that much. She was at the back during soundcheck and she was right where are cars were parked during the radio guesting.”

“She was by our car?! Sasaeng’s are supposed to seem like their not interested in you enough. Did she have a camera with her?”

“Hmmm, you can’t really being camera’s to concerts hyung. And she didn’t have one the other night. All she had on her hand was coffee.”

“Fans sneak in camera’s during concerts. Where do you think Junhoe takes his photos from?”

“Really? They do that? We must be really cool for people to break the rules like that?” 

He laughs. “Not cool at all.”

“But do you really think she’s a sasaeng though?” 

“If she didn’t have a camera, then I don’t know.”

“That’s right. You shouldn’t be so quick to judge hyung. Maybe she just really likes us.” I say boastfully. 

I really hope she isn’t though.


	3. First Meeting

CHAPTER 3 

ERIN’S POV

October 6, 2018

6:38 pm

 

The last time I’ve been to Lotte World was probably years ago with Sunny. I remember we promised to ride every ride there was in the place so we went once a week. That was way before we got busy with school. 

A few years after, I’m here again. Lining up to have these two albums in my hand signed by a group i’m not even a fan of. 

Today was supposed to be my rest day after two draining weeks of school and work. Work. Feels so good to say. Maybe because I love what i’m doing. And it will never be possible if it weren’t for Sunny. 

I may complain a lot whenever she asks me to go to these things, but I owe her a lot so this is me saying thank you. She’s done so much for me and there’s not a day i’m not grateful. 

Here I am thinking of how grateful am I to Sunny when I should be thinking of what to say to these boys. What do these people ask them? Do they praise them as soon as they’re in front of them? Do I have to do that? Do they confess their undying love? Would it be okay to just have the albums signed and leave? Each person has at least 20 seconds to communicate. What do I do with 20 seconds? 

This is making me anxious. Talking to strangers make me really uncomfortable. A few more girls left and it’s my turn to step on the stage. Oh my god I don’t even know their names. 

Well the first guy’s Hanbin. Ah I can’t believe I wrote his name in my palm. How lame. The guy next to him is... i’m so sorry I don’t know you but you’re one of the handsome guys. And the next one too, and the noisy one, and probably their maknae and then there’s Bobby and then there’s Donghyuk. That’s 3/7. I only know 3/7. I wanna ask the girl beside me but I don’t want to be hated to be here. 

Oh well, here it goes. 

“Annyeong haseyo!” I greet Hanbin. He probably doesn’t remember me. Not that i’m expecting him to remember me. 

“Oh!! Byeongcheol ah!! He exclaims happily. 

Not only did he not recognize me, he thought I was someone else. 

He probably notices I look confused so he apologizes but he’s still smiling. 

“Hi.” He says. I bow and I shake his hand. I hand him the album and he takes it. 

“Where do you want me to sign it?” 

“Huh? Oh, uhm..” I look at the girl beside me and he had small sticky notes on pages she wanted signed. “I guess anywhere?”

He looks at me with questioning look. “I’m guessing this is your first time?”

“Yeah. I’m actually doing this for my friend. She’s out of town and she’s a really big fan so...”

“That’s right! I knew you weren’t a sasaeng.” He says silently I couldn’t almost hear.

“Huh?” 

“Huh?”

“You thought I was a sasaeng?”

“No I didn’t.” 

“Oh. Maybe I heard wrong. Sorry.” 

“It’s okay, it’s okay. By the way, I remember you. You’re the girl from the camera shop.”

I freeze. He remembered. How? 

“I’ve gotten much better at taking photos. Thanks for your help.” He says. 

“I didn’t even do anything.” I say shyly. Cause really though, what did I do? “Uhm, I don’t know if this is rude, but what do the fans usually ask you? I’ve never been to an event like this and my friend isn’t picking up and i’m scared to ask the others so...”

“Aniyo it’s okay. The guy beside me is Chanwoo. He has a youtube vlog so you can ask him about that. The next one is Yunhyeong. He loves to cook. The next one is Junhoe. If you’ve noticed, he’s really noisy. So you can tell him to shut up.” 

I laugh. Harder than I should’ve. 

“After him is our mat hyung.” 

“I thought he was your maknae.” 

“He’s just short. Don’t ask him about his height if you don’t want to get scolded. And the next one is..”

“Kim Donghyuk.” He looks at me amusedly. 

“You like him?”

“Nope. He’s my friend’s bias.”

“Oh yeah. The wallpaper.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing. And the next one, you probably know.”

“Bobby.”

“Yeah. That’s pretty much us.”

“Okay. Thank you. Thank you so much.” l

“It’s time to move agassi.” The guards tell me. Hanbin offers a handshake and I take it. He gives me a smile before he focuses on the fan in front of him. 

“Hi Chanwoo ssi.” I say and I hand him the album. 

He laughs. Did I say something funny?

“I’m not Chanwoo. I’m Yunhyeong.”

I look at Hanbin and I can see him trying to hold his laugh. This is so embarrassing. 

“Oh. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” Can the world eat me whole now?

Yunhyeong stood up from his seat to console me. “No. No. No. It’s okay. We get that a lot. We really do look a like right?” He says as he leans towards the real Chanwoo. I’m so embarrassed. 

Hanbin leans towards Yunhyeong and whispers something to his ear and Yunhyeong nods. “I get it.” He tells Hanbin. “I understand.” He tells me. 

“Sorry. I got confused too. They’re practically twins.” Hanbin says cheekily. I hate him. 

Yunhyeong signs the album and I move from member to member until it was over. 

What a nightmare!!! But I’m glad I made it out alive. This day marks as the most embarrassing day of my life. Sunny, I love you. But i’m done with this fangirl thing. I’d move mountains for you if I have to. Just don’t ask me to events like these anymore. 

HANBIN’S POV

“Oh! Byeongcheol ah!” 

I didn’t expect to see here here tonight. She’s looking at me weirdly. Oh, I just called her Byeongcheol. 

“I’m sorry.” I’m so embarrassing. I hand out a hand to shake and she shakes it. She hands out the album and I take it. Why does she look so nervous? “Where do you want me to sign it? 

She looked confused. She looks at girl Yunhyeong was talking to and she observes the way she conversed with him. She looks back at me and says, “I guess anywhere?”

She doesn’t seem prepared. Or is she just pretending? Aish I shouldn’t think ill of people. Jaeho hyung’s words got to me. 

“I’m guessing this is your first time?” I ask as I scan through the pages of the album. 

“Yeah. Actually, i’m doing this for my friend. She’s out of town and she’s a really big fan so...”

“That’s right! I knew you weren’t a saesang!” I think I might’ve said that out loud. Aigoo Kim Hanbin how stupid can you be?

“Huh?”

I’ll pretend I didn’t say anything. Maybe she didn’t notice. “Huh?”

“You though I was a saesang?” She heard. Of course she did. I hate myself. 

“No I didn’t.” 

“Oh, maybe I heard wrong. Sorry.”

She’s saying sorry. Please don’t say sorry. I did think you were a saesang. This is Jaeho hyung’s fault. I should divert the conversation. “It’s okay, it’s okay. By the way, I remember you. You’re the girl from the camera shop.”

She stops and stares at me for a few seconds. She must be trying to remember who I am. Yeokshi. I’m not handsome. My face isn’t remarkable. People forget me all the time. 

“I’ve gotten much better at taking photos. Thanks for your help.” She smiles. She probably remembers now. 

“I didn’t even do anything.” Yeah, she actually didn’tdo anything. Why did I say that? Please be cool Kim Hanbin. 

She looks at me in the eye. Seems like she wants to ask me something? She’s probably going to ask me if I could be her boyfriend. Kidding. Chanwoo’s right. I am a loser. 

“Uhm, I don’t know if this is rude, but what do the fans usually ask you? I’ve never been to an event like this and my friend isn’t picking up and i’m scared to ask the others so...” 

Isn’t she the cutest thing in the world? 

“Aniyo it’s okay.” Hmmmm. Let’s confuse her with Chanwoo and Yunhyeong hyung. “The guy beside me is Chanwoo. He has a youtube vlog so you can ask him about that. The next one is Yunhyeong. He loves to cook. The next one is Junhoe. If you’ve noticed, he’s really noisy. So you can tell him to shut up.” 

She’s laughing. Why does she look pretty at everything she does? 

“After him is our mat hyung.” 

“I thought he was your maknae.” I laugh. 

“He’s just short. Don’t ask him about his height if you don’t want to get scolded. And the next one is..”

“Kim Donghyuk.” 

“You like him?”

“Nope. He’s my friend’s bias.”

I suddenly remember the girl she was fighting with at Sangam-Dong. “Oh yeah. The wallpaper.”

“Huh?”

I should learn how to keep my thoughts in my mind.

“Nothing. And the next one, you probably know.”

“Bobby.”

Of course she knows him. She likes him. I honestly think i’m better looking that Bobby hyung. I’m likeable too. 

“Yeah. That’s pretty much us.”

“Okay. Thank you. Thank you so much.” She says sincerely. Glad I could help. 

“It’s time to move agassi.” The asks her to move to Yunhyeong hyung since she was already holding up the line. I offer my hand one more time and she shakes it before moving towards Yunhyeong hyung. 

I need to see how this goes. I listen to her as she made her greetings to Yunhyeong hyung. 

“Hi Chanwoo ssi.” She says. I’m going to die of laughter. 

“I’m not Chanwoo. I’m Yunhyeong.”

She looks at me glaringly. I should not laugh. 

“Oh. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” She looks so embarrassed. Cute. 

Yunhyeong stands up from his seat and taps her hand trying to console her. “No. No. No. It’s okay. We get that a lot. We really do look a like right?” 

Does he have to be such a gentleman? 

“She’s not a fan. Her friend asked her to come because she couldn’t.” I whisper through Yunhyeong’s ear. 

“I understand.” He says and nods at Byeongcheol. 

“Sorry. I got confused too. They’re practically twins.” I tell her. 

Yunhyeong signs her album and they make small talk. She moved from one member to the other until she’s lost from my sight. 

I just remembered I forgot to ask what her name was. 

“Yunhyeong hyung, did she tell you what her name was?”

“Who?”

“The girl. The one who thought you were Chanwoo.”

He tried to think if she did but he shakes his head. “Nope. She didn’t.”

I guess you’ll forever be Byeongcheol to me. Or until we see each other again. I hope we see each other again. 

HANBIN’S POV

October 14, 2018

9:13 pm

Comeback season means more music show appearances, more fan signs, more variety shows, and more radio guesting’s. That means more time to meet our fans. It’s always fun. We won first place at a music show today. I promised to do the apple head thingy so I did it during the encore stage. 

A fan gave me a new camera during the fan sign we had days ago. I’ve been excited to use it but I’ve been busy. 

I take the box I hid in my closet and I bring it to my bed. It was a Zenitt TTL. Same size as my Olympus. Classy too. I check my drawer for a new roll of film but I’m all out. 

H: hyung are you asleep?  
J: nope why  
H: can we go to the camera shop? i’m out of film and i got a new camera  
J: okay. bring a mask

I go down the parking lot and see Jaeho hyung waiting in the car. 

“Hyung, the store we always go to is closed. Can we go to Mapo-gu instead?” 

Jaeho hyung nods and search for the store name in the GPS. We drive silently until we reach the destination. 

I get off the car first and Jaeho hyung follows after he’s done parking. 

The store was called Allycamera. The exterior was blue and had a vintage vibe to it. Everything was darker inside and camera’s surrounded the place. From the big ones to the very small ones. 

No one was there but a girl who had a quite familiar build. 

“Oh Byeongcheol?” I whisper to myself. 

A part of me wished it wasn’t her. I remember Jaeho hyung’s words. Is she a sasaeng? Is she following me? How? Does she live in my building? Or am I just paranoid? 

A guy, probably in his 50’s, walk out from the closed part of the store. I stood by the door as I figured out if it was really Byeongcheol who was in front of me. She was leaning at the counter top.

“Sorry for having you wait for more than an hour. My printer sometimes doesn’t work and it decided not to work today. Let me give you two rolls of films for free.” The man said. 

I let go a sigh of relief. I have to stop doubting her. She’s been here before I even decided to come. 

“No. No.” She refused. “It’s okay I don’t mind.” But she looked like she minded. She was stretching her legs back before the man came out. She probably has been standing for a long time now. “I’ll pay for the films. I need some anyway.” She added. 

“You don’t have to really.” The man said. 

“Are you sure? I’ll make sure to come here often to buy films from you now.” The girl said. Sweet. 

The man notices me standing by the door and greets me. I bow back and the girls looks behind her. We meet eye to eye and her eyes grow wider. She wasn’t expecting to see me. 

I walk closer to her and she turns around. I smile and she smiles back. 

“What’s this? It’s you again. Are you following me?” I ask her teasingly. 

“Following you? I remember being here way before you came.” She says. 

I nod. “Destiny seems to be playing with us.” 

She laughs. “It’s nice seeing you again.”

“You too. You know what? This is the 5th time i’m seeing you but I don’t know your name yet.” I tell her. 

“You never ask. How is it the 5th?”

“Well, at...” I remember we were in a different camera shop so I think it’d be awkward to say. “Hongdae.” I count with my fingers. “During our radio guesting. I saw you fighting with your friend. Our concert. And the fan sign. Today’s the 5th time.”

“How even did you manage to see me? I didn’t watch your radio guesting and I was at the very back during the concert.”

I don’t know either but I see you. And I don’t know why but it’s only you. 

“You were behind our car during the radio guesting. I guess you were waiting for your friend.”

She nods. “I was.”

I can’t stop staring at her. Her face makes it look hard to look away. 

The room becomes silent for a few seconds. 

“Can I help you with anything sir?” The man in charge of the store asks. 

“Oh, yeah. I got this camera as a gift. What film would be nice to use for it?” I ask. 

He leans down and he opens the glass drawer and to take a bunch of film for me to choose from. I don’t know what to pick so I get them all. The man takes the rolls in a paper bag and I give him my card for the payment. 

I turn around to see Byeongcheol heading out the shop. I take the paper bag and my car and rush outside. Jaeho hyung was waiting by the door and Byeongcheol was walking towards the corner of the street. 

I run and grab her arm when I reach her. She turns around startled. 

“You scared me!” She exclaims. 

I laugh. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. Can I take you home?” Please say yes. 

“You really wanna take a girl you don’t know the name of home?” 

“Right. I’m sorry. We’ve never introduced ourselves to each other. I’m Hanbin. Kim Hanbin.” I offer a handshake. 

She shakes my hand and introduces herself. “I’m Erin. Park. Park Erin.”

“Park Erin, can I take you home? I mean, can my manager and I take you home?” 

“Thanks for the offer Kim Hanbin but i’m actually not heading home yet. I need to study. I have an exam tomorrow.”

I look at my watch. “Where do you usually study?”

“A coffee shop. There’s one around the corner.”

“Can you wait here for just a minute?” She looks confused but she nods. 

I run to Jaeho hyun who was standing by the car waiting for me. 

“Hyung, would it be okay to grab coffee with my... friend?”

“Hanbin ah, you know you can’t.”

I shrug. “It was worth a try.”

I run back to Byeongcheol who was patiently waiting. 

“Are you going to be alone?” I ask her. She nods. 

“I have to go. I can’t stay out for a long time.” I explain. 

“It’s okay. I have start studying now anyway. I’ve used up all the excuses to stop me from studying already.” She laughs. 

“Good luck on your exam tomorrow. Don’t study too hard. Studying isn’t everything.”

She laughs. “If only I could sing and dance like you, I wouldn’t be studying.”

“So you think we’re good?”

“Injeong. You’re a pretty good crier too.” 

I completely forgot I cried during the concert. 

“Ya!” She’s keeping herself from laughing so hard. “People cry. I did it to make the fans laugh. Can we please not talk about it anymore?”

“Fine.” She nods. “I think you have to go now.” 

I look behind and Jaeho hyung was waving at us. 

“I wonder if we’ll see each other again?”

“I guess that’s up to destiny.” She says and laughs. “Bye. It was nice meeting you.” She steps back and waves. 

I wave back. “It’s nice to meet you too.” She smiles widely, turns around and walks towards the end of the street. 

I walk the other direction and get in the car. 

“So, did you ask for her number?” Jaeho hyung asked teasingly as he drove away from the shop. 

“No.”

“Why not?”

“It’ll ruin it.” I tell him. 

“What ‘it’ ?”

I don’t answer but smile. He’s not going to get it anyway. I know we’re going to see each other again. I don’t known or how long it will take but I know we’re going to see each other again. And it will happen again and again and again and every time we do, it will be better than the last time. 

ERIN’S POV

I’ve been waiting for an hour and thirty minutes now. Printing photos doesn’t take this long. I feel bad because I could’ve used the time to study but I kinda feel relieved I haven’t started studying yet. 

“Sorry for having you wait for more than an hour. My printer sometimes doesn’t work and it decided not to work today. Let me give you two rolls of films for free.” The manager finally comes out of the room with my photos in hand. 

“No. No. It’s okay I don’t mind. I’ll pay for the films. I need some anyway.” 

“You don’t have to really.” The manager says. 

“Are you sure? I’ll make sure to come here often to buy films from you now.” They have a wide variety of films so i’m definitely coming back. 

The manager looks behind me and bows. Someone must’ve come. I turn around to see and I see Hanbin. 

He smiles as soon as he sees me and I smile back. 

“What’s this? It’s you again. Are you following me?” He says. 

“Following you? I remember being here way before you came.” 

“Destiny seems to be playing with us.” 

Oh, how corny. I laugh. “It’s nice seeing you again.”

“You too. You know what? This is the 5th time i’m seeing you but I don’t know your name yet.” 

At the other camera shop and the fan meet. That’s only two. “You never ask. How is it the 5th?”

“Well, at...” He stops. He probably realizes he can’t say he was at another camera shop. “Hongdae. During our radio guesting. I saw you fighting with your friend. Our concert. And the fan sign. Today’s the 5th time.”

How? And he kept count? “How even did you manage to see me? I didn’t watch your radio guesting and I was at the very back during the concert.” 

“You were behind our car during the radio guesting. I guess you were waiting for your friend.”

Of all the places I could wait in it had to be at the back of their car. “I was.”

He’s staring at me. Is there something on my face? This is making me anxious. Please stop staring. 

“Can I help you with anything sir?” The manage breaks the silence in the rokm. 

“Oh, yeah. I got this camera as a gift. What film would be nice to use for it?” He shows the camera to the shop manager. 

I guess this is my queue to leave. Do I say good bye? Ah, never mind.

I go out of the shop and notice the Harry Potter guy he was with when I first saw him. He bows to me and I acknowledge him back.

I passed by a small coffee shop on the way here and it looked quiet. I guess it’s time to study. Maybe i’ll walk slower so that I have more time to rest. And yes, a student’s gotta rest even before studying. 

Someone from behind grabs my arm startling me. “You scared me!” 

He has the nerve to laugh! I thought I was being kidnapped. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. Can I take you home?” 

Don’t blush. Don’t blush. Keep calm, Erin. You’re not this easy. “You really wanna take a girl you don’t know the name of home?” 

“Right. I’m sorry. We’ve never introduced ourselves to each other. I’m Hanbin. Kim Hanbin.” He hands out his hand for a handshake and I take it. 

“I’m Erin. Park. Park Erin.” I’m not even used to introducing myself. I need to interact more. 

“Park Erin, can I take you home? I mean, can my manager and I take you home?” 

Why is an idol offering to take me home? Isn’t this against the rules? But I like it. I’m not saying i’ll accept it. But I like being asked. 

“Thanks for the offer Kim Hanbin but i’m actually not heading home yet. I need to study. I have an exam tomorrow.” Which was true. 

“Where do you usually study?”

“A coffee shop. There’s one around the corner.”

“Can you wait here for just a minute?” He runs towards his manager before I even answer. 

After a quick conversation with his manager, he runs back to where I was standing. 

“Are you going to be alone?” 

This guy... 

I nod. 

“I have to go. I can’t stay out for a long time.” He says. 

“It’s okay. I have start studying now anyway. I’ve used up all the excuses to stop me from studying already.” I wish you could stay longer. 

“Good luck on your exam tomorrow. Don’t study too hard. Studying isn’t everything.”

“If only I could sing and dance like you, I wouldn’t be studying.” 

“So you think we’re good?”

“Injeong. You’re a pretty good crier.” He opens his mouth wide in disbelief. Cute. 

“Ya! “People cry. I did it to make the fans laugh. Can we please not talk about it anymore?”

I pinch my hand hard a couple times to hold my laughter back. 

“Fine.” I say. I notice his manager waving at our direction. “I think you have to go now.” 

“I wonder if we’ll see each other again?”

Does that mean he wants to see me again? “I guess that’s up to destiny. Bye. It was nice meeting you.” This guy makes me corny!! 

I wave to him and I stake a step back. 

He waves back and says, “It’s nice to meet you too.” I leave him a smile and I turn around. I walk away from him with hopes of seeing him again. 

He makes me feel things. Things I never felt before. And I don’t know but I look forward to bumping into him again. Heaven, universe, whoever’s up there, please let us meet again. I want to get to know him more. He makes me want to get to know him more.


	5. Friends

CHAPTER 5 

ERIN’S POV 

*a few weeks after*

November 13, 2018

7:43 pm

 

After taking a shower, I change into a tank top and I cover up with an oversized cardigan, jeans and sneakers and I text Sunny to meet me in Hongdae.

Once I reach Hongdae, I receive a text from Sunny saying she fell asleep and she’ll just take a quick shower and go straight here. Knowing her, that will take an hour, maybe two, so I decide to visit the camera shop near the café. 

Not that I was expecting to see Hanbin there but I can’t deny that a part of me hoped he’d be there. I have been going to both shops alternatively since our last encounter and I haven’t bumped into him. Sunny did mention that they were busy so maybe that’s why. 

While meters away from the shop, I notice Harry Potter manager opening the door of the shop. Must be my lucky day. He sees me and he greets me from meters away and I smile and bow back. Hanbin, who was about to enter the shop, looks at my direction and as if he didn’t see me, he steps inside the shop. 

Harry Potter manager pointed his arms towards the shop and I signaled for him to go in ahead. 

Maybe he didn’t see me. I walk towards the shop and when I enter, the owner of the store greets me. He was talking to Hanbin who had his back faced the door. He doesn’t look back. 

“Annyeong haseyo.” Harry Potter manager greets me. 

“Hi. How have you been?” I ask him. 

He says he’s good and we small talk. I smile at the idea that i’m actually talking to Hanbin’s manager. I didn’t know we were friendly but it’s so nice of him to acknowledge me. 

The owner hands Hanbin out a paper bag full of film rolls and Hanbin takes them with one hand. He says thank you to the owner and he turns around to my direction. 

I was standing beside Harry Potter manager, slightly blocking the glass door. I was all smiles looking at him and ready to greet him before his manager said something. 

“Hanbin ah, your friend here...” 

“Hyung, let’s go i’m tired.” Hanbin says without letting his manager finish his sentence. 

I step to the side and his manager opens the door for him. He steps out without even glancing towards my direction. Harry potter manager gives me an apologetic look and I nod to assure him it was okay. 

I can feel my stomach turning. That was second-handedly the most embarrassing moments of my life. I guess it was bold of me to assume that we were friends. Who am I kidding? He’s up there and i’m down here. 

“He didn’t seem like he was in a good mood.” The owner tells me. He probably knows I felt embarrassed so he’s trying to make me feel better. 

I give him a faint smile and I check out the films displayed on the glass cabinet. 

The owner steps out of his side of the shop and walk toward the glass door. He flips the open sign to closed and he walks back in his turf. 

“Oh, are you closing? I can go now.” I tell him after looking at my watch. I didn’t notice it was past 9. 

“It’s okay child. Take your time.” He tells me. 

I really wasn’t planning on buying anything but I was too embarrassed to leave with nothing so I buy two rolls of film before heading out. 

I walk back to the café with thoughts of Hanbin bothering me. 

Is he okay? Does he still think i’m a sasaeng fan? Did he realize i’m not worthy enough to be his friend? Was he just in a bad mood? 

Makes me think I was expecting too much from him. I must’ve burdened him for always showing up to where he was. But I swear though, all of this is coincidental. I hoped but I didn’t expect him to show up tonight. 

I shouldn’t have come. There’s a coffee shop near my building I could’ve just gone there. I hope he doesn’t think I’m a creep. 

HANBIN’S POV

Jaeho hyung parks the car in front of the store. He goes out of the car to check around before opening my door. 

I see her. I hoped I wouldn’t but she’s here. I see her walking out of the café from the corner of the street. She looks tired. Maybe she had classes the whole day. Or maybe she just finished studying. She obviously doesn’t have make up on and she’s wearing glasses but she still looks stunning. 

“Hanbin ah, let’s go.” I look at Jaeho hyung who was waiting for me to come out of the car. 

I look at her one more time before finally getting out of the car. 

Jaeho hyung opens the store door for me and he greets a person from a far. I look at who and Erin was the only one there. Why is he suddenly being friendly with her? They haven’t even been introduced yet. 

I step in the store without acknowledging Erin. I feel like such an ass but I don’t know myself enough when it comes to girls. I’m scared that if I don’t stop being friendly with her, I’d fall. I can’t betray One hyung like this. 

The chimes by the door rings and the owner greets someone by the door. It’s most likely her. 

“Annyeong haseyo.” Jaeho hyung says. Why the heck does he keep talking to her?

“Hi. How have you been?” She responds. Are they close? Have they been meeting without me knowing? 

Jaeho hyung tells her the he’s been doing good. Liar. He just got sick and he’s been complaining a lot about it even though he already feels better. He even didn’t want to come with me tonight because he wanted to sleep early. 

“How about you? Were you studying? I saw you walking out of the café.” Jaeho hyung asked. When is this conversation going to end?! And why do they sound so casual?! 

“No. I’m waiting for my friend. We’re just about to study for an exam tomorrow. I had work the whole day today so I haven’t gotten the time to study.” 

I smile at the fact that she’s responsible and hardworking but I also feel bad. It’s almost 10 so who knows what time they’ll finish studying. She must be really exhausted. 

I catch myself listening to their conversation instead of listening to the owner who was explaining to me how my new camera works. 

“Got it?” The owner ahjussi asks. 

I transfer my attention back to him. “Uh, yeah. I got it.” I didn’t get a single thing. 

“Let me get you some film for that new baby.” He crouches down and takes boxes of film for me. He places them in a small paper back and I hand him my card. After the payment has been processed, he hands my the bag of films and he thanks me. I thank him back and I promise to be back again soon. 

I turn around and I see her smiling a few feet away from me. She opens her mouth but Jaeho hyung opens his first. 

“Hanbin ah, your friend...”

“Hyung, let’s go i’m tired.” The smile on her face disappears and she steps aside from blocking the door. 

I know you’re tired Kim Hanbin, she is too. And so are the people around you. That doesn’t give you and excuse to become a dick. 

She looks ashamed. I just humiliated a girl. 

I step out of the store with a very heavy heart. I feel so bad. I want to go back and hug her. 

Jaeho hyung opens the car door for me and I get in. 

“Can we pass by a convenience store?” 

“Why? Are you hungry?” Jaeho hyung asks. 

“No. I have to buy something.”

“Okay.” He nods and he drives away. “Hanbin ah, can I ask you something?”

I knew it was going to be about Erin. 

“What is it?”

“The girl earlier, do you not remember her? Or did something happen between you two? You seemed smitten every time we bump into her but now...”

I wasn’t sure if I should tell him but I had no one to run to. The boys are surely to tired to listen to rants about girls. I can go talk to One hyung and Raesungie obviously. It’s killing me and it’s killing me more because I don’t know what to do and I can’t talk to anyone about it. 

Jaeho hyung is one of the people I trust most. But what I tell him, he tells the other boys and what the boys tell him, he tells me. There are no secrets in our dorm unless it’s kept by one person only. 

“One hyung likes her.”

“Jaewonie?” 

I nod. 

“How’d they meet?”

“The work together.”

“She’s an actress?”

“Nope. Model. She models for Nike. They both do.”

Jaeho hyung nods and analyzes the whole situation. 

“Does she know he likes her?” He asks. 

“I don’t know. Probably. They seem close. One hyung knows everything about her. And they text each other. 

“Does he know you like her?”

I shake my head. “He doesn’t even know I know her.”

“Are you not going to tell him?”

“What for? I decided to stop being friends with her anyway.”

Our conversation is cut short when we arrive the convenience store. We both get out of the car and enter the store. 

I once read that eating chocolates help you study better so I take a bunch of chocolate bars and I head to the fridge to take different boxes of milk, coffee and energy drinks. I didn’t know which she’d prefer. I look for post-its and a pen and proceed to the counter to pay for the stuff. 

We head back to the car and I tell Jaeho hyung to go back the store. 

He drives takes a u-turn and head back towards the street. 

I take out the post-it and I write a note. 

“Good luck on your exam tomorrow. -131”

I stick it to one of the milk cartons and I arrange the bottles inside the plastic. 

Jaeho hyung parks right outside the coffee shop as if he knew where we were going. I hand him  
out the plastic to take inside. He takes them without hesitation and he proceeds to do the mission. 

It takes him 2 roughly 3 minutes before going back to the car. 

I don’t aah anything and I expect him not to say anything. 

“I thought you decided to stop being friends with her?” He was teasing me. 

I roll my eyes and he laughs. 

ERIN’S POV

I start studying without Sunny. She called to say she was on her way sonI wouldn’t be far ahead from my readings once she arrives. 

I like to write when I study so I start jotting down notes as I read. 

“Excuse me.” A person in front of me calls for my attention. I look up to see Harry Potter manager standing in front of me. 

“Oh, annyeong haseyo!”

He hands out a plastic bag and he leaves in a rush. What’s this about?

I look inside the plastic and I see chocolates, energy drinks, boxes of milk, and bottles of coffee. I take out the box of milk with a paper stuck to it and I notice a note. 

“Good luck on your exam tomorrow. -131”

131? Oh, BI! 

I don’t know what to think but I know how this makes me feel. 

HANBIN’S POV

November 17, 2018

9:13 pm

If only I knew it was going to be a Nike event I never would’ve said yes to going. One hyung said he was going to introduce someone and it’s going to be her. 

This night’s going to be a long one. I already can’t wait for it to be over. 

ERIN’S POV

I have gotten a manager not long ago. An agency scouted me and they are very understanding that i’m still a student so they make sure to take only jobs that are in sync with my schedule. That means, I gotta work on Sundays. 

They’re not the kind of managers I spend 24/7 with. I’m mostly just in touch with mine when I have work. Our relationship is just professional. 

I don’t model solely for Nike now. Nike have opened a lot of doors for me within the short period of time i’ve worked with them and I hope this is just the beginning. 

After answering a couple interview questions and taking a few photos for the press, my manager tells go and have fun. 

One oppa takes me to the VIP area and he introduces me to his friends Raesung, Dusty and Seung. 

They seemed pleased to meet me so that puts me at ease. They ask me a bunch of questions about myself and I do the same to them. I’m starting to learn how to mingle I’m proud of myself. 

“Where’s Hanbinnie?” One oppa asked Raesung. 

“He’s on his way.” He answered. 

The thought of Hanbin coming made me nervous. I genuinely forgot Sunny mentioned they were close. 

Would it be okay for us to act like we know each other or do we need to pretend it’s the first time meeting each other? 

“Jaewon ah, you’re up next.” One hyung’s manager calls up to him. 

He looks at me and he grabs both my arms in between his. 

“I know I promised I won’t leave you alone but I gotta perform next. Would you be okay here with the guys?” One oppa asked. I feel bad for making him feel like he has to babysit me. 

“I’ll be fine don’t worry about me.” I assure him. 

He goes through the net that divided the VIP section to the pit and the DJ hands him a mic. He greets the audience before starting his set and the audience wild up in screams. 

This is the first time i’m seeing him perform and I wonder how artists turn into a complete different person when on stage it’s amazing. 

One oppa climbs back up the VIP section after his set. 

“How was it?” He asked. I couldn’t hear properly so he comes closer to whisper through my ear.

“Not bad.” I joked but he looked really cool. 

“Okay. I’ll take that.” We both laugh. 

“It’s Bobby hyung and Donghyuk hyung’s turn. Hanbin hyung must be here.” Raesung says.

The screams from the pit raises higher and the chants go stronger as Bobby and Donghyuk performed. 

One oppa and his friends scan the room looking for Hanbin. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to face him. I still felt kind of ashamed of what happened. I didn’t mean to be such a creep towards him. 

I look at the surrounding at my sides but I don’t see a sign of him. I look behind me and there he was standing at the corner of the VIP area surrounded by the remaining members. 

I stare at him and I notice he was staring at me. I wanted to smile at him but he wasn’t happy to see me. His eyes were glaring. He’s always had this soft look but it was different tonight. 

Dusty sights Hanbin and he brings him over to us. The guys were cheering him on as he walked closer to us. 

They hugged him and put their arms around him one by one. It was a if they haven’t seen him in a long time. 

I felt uncomfortable I wanted to leave. 

“I’ve been waiting for you!” One oppa says to Hanbin. 

He’s still looking at me. Why is he looking at me?

“Oh hyung you’re drinking?” Raesung points at the bottle of beer he was holding. 

Aren’t people in a club supposed to drink?

He finally stops looking at me and draws attention to his friends. 

“Well, yeah, i’m in the mood.” He says. 

“Alright it’s going to be a wild night then!” Raesung shouts out. 

Is this kid even allowed to be in the club? 

“Hanbin ah! Come here.” One oppa grabs Hanbin’s arm and he pulls him towards our direction. 

“Hanbin ah, meet Erin.” 

He had this bland expression on his face. He probably hates seeing me at this point. 

“It’s nice to meet you.” He offers a handshake

I shake his hand and I give him a smile. “It’s nice meeting you.” 

Hanging around people who obviously doesn’t like me being around is the worst. 

“Uhm, One oppa, I have to go. It’s getting late I have an early call time tomorrow.” I lied. My work doesn’t start until after lunch. 

“Oh yeah I almost forgot. I’ll bring you home.” He offered. 

Hanbin left to join Raesung and the others who were busy jamming to Bobby and Donghyuk. 

“Jaewon ah! You have another set!” His manager comes running towards us as we were just about to leave. 

“But i-“ He looks at me apologetically. 

“I can go home by myself don’t worry.” I assure him. 

I was never going to take his offer anyway. I wouldn’t keep him from having fun with his friends. 

“Are you sure?” 

I nod. “Thanks for keeping me company. I had fun.” 

I say good bye to his friends and they begged me to stay a little while more but I declined the offer. I bid them good bye. Hanbin didn’t bother to look back. 

One oppa asked his manager to assist me out of the club. His manager was nice enough to do so. 

“Text me when you get home okay?” 

I nod and follow One oppa’s manager out of the club. 

“Do you want me to book you an uber?” He asked. 

“No it’s fine. I’ll take a cab home.” I tell him. He leaves after I assure him I was gonna be fine. 

This is one of the nights where I want to take a long walk and so I do. 

 

HANBIN’S POV

When we arrive, Bobby and Donghyuk prepares for their set and the boys join Winner hyung’s at their table. I stay near and I grab a bottle of beer while I drink alone by the corner. I’m not really in the mood to mingle. 

I see her. She’s watching One hyung perform together with Raesung, Dusty hyung and Seung hyung. I guess One hyung have already introduced her to them. They seem comfortable with each other already. 

I see Bobby hyung and Donghyuk move to the DJ’s booth as soon as One hyung finished performing. 

He climbed up at VIP area right after and he hi-fives the boys one by one. Erin was clapping and smiling the whole time. 

I watch them talk to each other. One hyung whispers something to her ear and they both laugh. They seem so close. I wonder if One hyung had already asked her to date him. I hope not. 

I watch them scan around the whole floor. They’re probably looking for me now that they’ve seen Bobby hyung. 

Erin looks around too. She looks behind her and we meet eye to eye. She looks different tonight. She looks daring and sexy. She never fails to surprise me every time I see her. 

Dusty hyung spots me and calls for me. The guys were cheering me on as I walked closer and they hugged me one by one. They were asking me questions but I couldn’t help but stare at her. She looks even prettier up close. 

“I’ve been waiting for you!” One oppa says. 

I’m still looking at her. I can’t stop looking at her. She makes it hard for me not to look at her. 

“Oh hyung, you’re drinking?” It amuses them when I drink because I rarely do. 

“Well, yeah. I’m in the mood tonight.” I feel like alcohol is the only thing that can make me feel better while i’m here. 

The boys gets excited and plans the whole night ahead. 

“Hanbin ah! Come here.” he grabs my arm and pulls me closer towards them. 

This is what i’ve been avoiding. I was hoping I’d be drunk enough when this happened but this is not the case. 

“Hanbin ah, meet Erin.” 

He doesn’t introduce her as his girlfriend. I shouldn’t feel relieved but I do. 

“It’s nice to meet you.” I offer a handshake. 

She shakes my hand and says “It’s nice meeting you.” I guess she hasn’t told One hyung that we’ve met too. 

“Uhm, One oppa, I have to go. It’s getting late I have an early call time tomorrow.” She tells One hyung. 

“Oh yeah I almost forgot. I’ll bring you home.” One hyung said. 

Okay, I’m out. I turn around to join Raesung and the others who were enjoying Bobby and Donghyuk’s performance. 

I overhear One hyung saying he has another set. Who’s going to bring Erin home? 

I try to listen to their conversation and she says she can manage to go home alone.

She bids farewell to the boys and they beg for her to say a little bit more but she insisted she needed to go. 

After she left, I went to the other side of the club and I go out from the crew exit. 

I see her speaking to One hyung’s manager and she starts to walk towards my direction. Isn’t she going to take a cab or anything?

“Hey.” I call her out loudly when she’s a few feet away from me.

“You scared me!” She squealed like a kid. “Hey.” 

“Do you need a ride home?” 

Why offer when you can’t even drive Kim Hanbin. 

“It’s okay. I can walk.” 

“It’s not safe.” 

“I’ll be fine.”

“Okay.”

I guess that’s my queue to go back in. 

“Can I ask you something?” She calls out. 

I turn to her and ask, “What is it?” 

“Do you hate me? Or did I do anything wrong?

I wasn’t expecting her question. I was expecting her to get mad but not this. 

“I have no reason to hate you.” 

“You were nice to me the first few times we met. Does it bother you that i’m always around? If it does you can tell me. I just want you to know that I don’t know you’ll be at a place I tend to go to.”

I feel bad. I feel so bad. 

“You don’t bother me. You never did. I’m sorry for acting like a dick earlier and the other day. It’s just that...”

She waits for me to continue my sentence. 

It’s just that one of my best friends like you and I happen to like you too. 

“I was just in a bad mood.” I tell her. 

The exit door had to flights of stairs. I sit at the top and I I offer her the space beside me. She walks closer and sits beside me. I take off my jacket and I cover her legs with it. 

“Thank you.” She says. 

“I’m sorry for making you feel like you were a bother.” I sincerely apologize. 

She nods. 

“So One hyung, you guys are really close.”

“Yeah. He’s been such a big support system at work. I’m a newbie so I really don’t know what to expect. He helps me through shoots.”

I nod.

“How about you? You seem really close too?”

“Yeah. We’ve been friends since he got signed at the company and his studio is right beside mine so we see each other often.”

“You make music too?”

I laugh a bit. 

“Nevermind.” She says shyly. “I forgot you make all your songs.”

“I try. Just lucky that some people think they’re good.”

“I think they’re good.”

“You listen to our music?”

“I went to your concert remember. You even cried.” She laughs. I missed seeing her laugh. 

“Hey, guys cry too okay? It was a touching moment.” I hate Yunhyeong for writing that letter. 

She’s giggling. 

“You do everything for your friend?” I ask. 

“Hmmm, not everything. Just the things she really wants with reason of course. Like the concert. She never forces me to watch any of your shows and whatever but she wanted me to experience the thrill and the excitement your concert brings so she bought me a ticket.”

“Was it worth it?”

“Surprisingly, yes. I gave up my Japan trip for your concert but I never once regretted it. It was fun.” She sounds convincing. 

“How about you? Would you give up on something your friend really wanted?” 

That question is just right on, Erin. 

I wish it wasn’t you I had to give up. I sometimes wish I was selfish enough to not care about what other people would feel just to get what I want. But Jaewonie, he’s been good to me, so the answer is yes. I’d give you up for Jaewon hyung. 

And so I nod. 

She opens her little bag and she starts to slightly panic.

“You okay?” I ask. 

“I can’t find my phone.” She says as she searched her bag. “Do you mind ringing it for me?”

“Of course not.” I take out my phone and she dictates her number. I press the call button and it starts to ring. 

Her ringtone starts to go off and she searches the pockets of her coat. 

He lets out a deep sigh and she laughs. “I forgot I had pockets.” 

Cute. 

“Oh, It’s getting late. I should go.” She says after checking her phone. She stands up and she hands me my jacket. “Thank you.” 

I stand up and I take it. Time slows down every time she smiles. 

She offers her hand and she says, “Friends?” 

I take her hand into mine and I shake it softly. “Friends.”

She giggles. “Don’t ignore me next time okay? Even when you’re in a bad mood.” 

I laugh at her cuteness and I nod. “I promise.” 

“I gotta go.” 

“Wait, I can ask my manager to drive you home.” 

“No it’s fine don’t bother. I’ll take a cab.” 

I walk to the corner of street and I wait for a cab. I hail one and he parks right in front of me. I open the door until she gets in and close it. 

“Get home safe.” I lean through the window. 

She waves goodbye and I watch her car leave my sight. I take my phone out and I type the plate number in my notes. 

I take a deep breath and I let it out. 

You make it harder and harder for me, Erin. 

 

ERIN’S POV

“Hey.” 

I jump out of fright and a familiar face comes out from a dark surface. “You scared me!” I compose myself and I say, “Hey.” 

“Do you need a ride home?” He asks. 

From a scale of 0-Kim Hanbin how confusing can a guy be?

“It’s okay. I can walk.” 

“It’s not safe.” 

“I’ll be fine.”

“Okay.”

He turns around and reach for the door handle. 

“Can I ask you something?” 

“What is it?” He doesn’t look mad but he doesn’t seem to be pleased to be still here either. 

“Do you hate me? Or did I do anything wrong?” I really wanted to know. I wanted to know so that the next time I bump into him, I know not to expect anything. 

“I have no reason to hate you.” 

That wasn’t the answer I was expecting. So why does he act like he hates me?

“You were nice to me the first few times we met. Does it bother you that i’m always around? If it does you can tell me. I just want you to know that I don’t know you’ll be at a place I tend to go to.” I tell him. His face softens up. 

“You don’t bother me. You never did. I’m sorry for acting like a dick earlier and the other day. It’s just that...”

That?

“I was just in a bad mood.” 

I guess the shop owner was right? 

He sits at the top stair by the door and he offers the space beside him for me to sit at. I sit beside him and he takes off his jacket and he lays it flat on top of my legs to cover them. 

“Thank you.” 

“I’m sorry for making you feel like you were a bother.” 

He apologizes again. I nod. 

“So One hyung, you guys are really close.”

Hyung? So he’s younger. 

“Yeah. He’s been such a big support system at work. I’m a newbie so I really don’t know what to expect. He helps me through shoots.”

He nods but he doesn’t ask a follow up question. 

“How about you? You seem really close too?” I try to keep the conversation going. 

“Yeah. We’ve been friends since he got signed at the company and his studio is right beside mine so we see each other often.”

“You make music too?” I ask out of curiosity. 

I laugh a bit. 

I remember Sunny bragging about how different iKON is from other groups because they produce their own music. 

“Nevermind. I forgot you make all your songs.” That was embarrassing. 

“I try. Just lucky that some people think they’re good.”

“I think they’re good.” They really are good. Especially the ballads. 

“You listen to our music?”

“I went to your concert remember. You even cried.” She laughs. I missed seeing her laugh. 

“Hey, guys cry too okay? It was a touching moment.” He says in defense. That was cute. 

“You do everything for your friend?” He asks. 

I think about it. 

“Hmmm, not everything. Just the things she really wants but with reason of course. Like the concert. She never forces me to watch any of your shows and whatever but she wanted me to experience the thrill and the excitement your concert brings so she bought me a ticket.”

Sunny was the type of person not to force something to someone and that’s what I really love about her. We love the same things but we also have things we love individually. 

“Was it worth it?”

“Surprisingly, yes. I gave up my Japan trip for your concert but I never once regretted it. It was fun.” I say honestly because it really was. 

“How about you? Would you give up on something your friend really wanted?” 

He thinks long about my question. I hope I didn’t hit a sensitive topic. He plays with his fingers and he keeps quiet for a while. 

And then he nods. 

I think I messed up again. 

We’ve been talking for quite a while now. I look for my  
phone to check the time and I panic when I don’t see it in my purse. 

I take out my disposable camera, my lipstick and powder and it still wasn’t there. 

“Do you mind ringing my number?” I can’t afford to lose my phone my whole life is in there. 

“Of course not.” He takes out his phone and I dictate my number to him. He puts in on speaker so the both of us could hear if it was ringing and it was. 

My ringtone goes off and I let go a deep sigh. It’s somewhere in my body. 

I tap my coat and I take a feel of my phone. I forgot I had pockets. 

I check the time. “It’s late. I better go.” 

Time does fly when you’re having fun. 

I stand up and I hand him his jacket. He takes it and he gives me a smirk. I could melt. 

I initiate a handshake. “Friends?” 

He takes it snd he laughs. “Friends.”

“Don’t ignore me next time okay? Even when you’re in a bad mood.” 

“I promise.” 

“I gotta go.” 

“Wait, I can ask my manager to drive you home.” 

“No it’s fine don’t bother. I’ll take a cab.” 

He walks down the street snd hails a cab. He opens the door for me and he makes sure I was settled in before closing it. 

He bends down and leans by the window. “Get home safe.” 

I wave him goodbye and I watch him from the mirror. He stood there watching my car leave until he wasn’t visible to my eyes anymore. 

I already can’t wait for the next time we’ll meet.


	6. “I want to protect her.”

CHAPTER 6

HANBIN’S POV

November 29, 2018

5:29 pm

“Hanbin ah, grab a cart.” One hyung says when we arrive the shopping center. 

“So what are we making?”

“I don’t know.”

“Hyung why are we here when we don’t know what we’re going to buy.”

“That’s right.” One hyung laughs. He can be stupid sometimes. He takes out his phone and to search for recipes. “How about we make cake? Do you guys have an oven?”

“I’m not sure. Wait let me call Jaeho hyung.” I dial Jaeho hyung who asked to be left at the car and he gives us a go signal. “We do.”

“Okay. It’ll be my gift to you for winning an award last night at the AAA’s.”

We roam around the supermarket to take the things that we need. I never knew it was this hard to do groceries. All we ever take is ramen. How do moms do this? We can’t even find where the flour is.

“Oh!” One hyung points at the end of the aisle.

“You find it?” I ask.

“Erin ah!” He shouts.

I look at end of the aisle and there she was, just as surprised as we are. She was with a girl slightly taller than she is. Must be the bestfriend.

I feel a certain nervousness when she’s around. My heart starts to beat faster, my tummy acts out and my hands get cold and they shake. 

I noticed this the first time I talked to her. And even when I don’t know i’m going to bump into her I feel it. 

“Oh oppa!” She shouts back. She pushes her cart into our direction.

The universe is playing with me. 

Erin and her friend greets us and I say hi from behind One hyung.

Erin bends her head to the side and she gives me a smile. I remember promising her that we’d be friends even when I was a bad mood and right now I want to be in a bad mood but my day has just gotten ten times better after seeing that smile of hers. 

“This is my best friend, Sunny.” Erin says. 

Why does she look like she’s about to cry? One hyung and I shake her hand. She’s shaking. Cute. 

“Wasn’t expecting to see you here.” Erin says.

“We’re doing a live earlier and we’re going to be baking so we’re buying ingredients. Except, we don’t know where they are.”

Erin laughs. “What else do you guys need?”

“Hanbin ah!”

“Huh?”

“Yah I asked you twice already. Are you still sleepy?”

No. I just lose it when she’s around.

“What was that?”

“What else do we need?”

“Oh, by the looks of our cart, pretty much everything except the eggs.” 

The girls both laugh.

Erin takes the lead and helps us find our ingredients. One hyung walked side by side with her while she pushed her cart and I was pushing ours behind with Sunny.

“Uhm, I heard you’re an ikonic? Or was that a different friend of Erin’s?” I feel so lame to be asking this but I don’t know what else to ask and I didn’t want her to feel awkward.

“This is embarrassing. Yeah, it’s me.” She says shyly.

“Are you embarrassed to be our fan?”

“No! No! That’s not what I meant!” She says in defense.

“I guess we still have to work harder then. You’ll be proud of us on day.”

“That’s not what I meant.” She pouts.

I nudge her by the side. “I was kidding.”

“Congrats on winning last night by the way. It should’ve been the daesang.” She says. 

“Nah, it’s okay. We win some, we lose some. We’re lucky we even got those awards and it’s all thanks to you guys.”

“Aniyo. You did really great this year. Jinjja. We’ll get the daesang next time.”

“It’s been a fun year right? We got to meet a lot of times?”

She smiles and nods. “It’s just the start. Let’s go ‘til the end.”

“That’s right.” I offer a fist bump and she takes it. 

“Hanbin ah, put this there.” One hyung says as he throws a bag of chocolate chip cookies to me. I lay it down on the cart. I thought we were making cake?

“Do we have everything now?” he asks.

I check my phone to see the list and check the stuff in the cart.

“Uhm hyung, we don’t need some of the stuff.” I say.

He checks the list on his phone. “It’s right.”

“What list do you have on your phone?”

“Chocolate chip cookies.”

“Babo. We were going to make cake, hyung. Aish.”

Erin and Sunny laughs while we bicker.

“Let’s just make cookies. We have to go Jaeho hyung texted me already.”

He agrees. “Are you guys done?” He asks Erin.

“No. There’s still a bunch of stuff we need.”

“She needs. She’s never done decorating her room.” Sunny says.

“That’s not true. I just moved in.” Erin says in defense.

“You moved in months ago.” 

“I was busy.” 

It was now Sunny and Erin bickering. Girls are fascinating. I’ve never seen them fight up close. 

“Okay, okay, enough fighting.” One hyung stops them from bickering. 

“We gotta go.” I say. 

I high-five Sunny. “Did you want to take a photo?”

“No. That’d be uncool.” She teased. 

“Right. You’d beg for a photo next time when we’re really really popular and I won’t take it with you.”

“I doubt it.” She laughs. 

I rub the top of her head and we say our goodbyes. 

One hyung and I pay for our groceries and we leave to prepare for our cooking show. Which I already know, is going to be a disaster. 

 

ERIN’S POV

“What floor are the linens and pillow cases again?” I ask Sunny. 

“The next one upstairs.” She says. 

“Erin ah!” A familiar sound calls my name from a far. I look at the end of the aisle and I see One oppa waving at our direction. 

“Oh my god Erin that’s One. Erin oh my god Hanbin’s right behind him. Oh my god Erin kill me now this is not happening. Erin let’s go please I can’t take this i’m literally going to cry.” 

“Please don’t and please stop freaking out they’re regular people just like us.”

“They’re not regular people do you see how small and beautiful their faces are?”

“Shut up they’re coming our way please calm down.” 

“Oh oppa!” I wave back and I push the cart to their direction while Sunny followed me from behind. 

I peek through One oppa’s back and I smile at Hanbin. He gives me a smile back and my heart flutters. I’m so glad he’s not in a bad mood today. 

“This is my best friend, Sunny.” Sunny was obviously shaking and nervous she looked like she was about to faint. I can’t with her. 

“Wasn’t expecting to see you here.” I tell them. This was totally the last place I expected to see them. 

“We’re doing a live earlier and we’re going to be baking so we’re buying ingredients. Except, we don’t know where they are.”

I guess I found my purpose. I wink at Sunny and she nods at me. “What else do you guys need?”

“Hanbin ah check your list what did we need to buy?” One oppa asked Hanbin. 

Hanbin was looking at me like he was a lost kid. I ask him with my eyes but he doesn’t respond. 

“Hanbin ah!”

“Huh?”

“I asked you twice already. Are you still sleepy?”

How is he sleepy at 6 in the afternoon 

“What was that?” Hanbin asked. He seemed to be out of it. Must be really tired. 

“What else do we need?”

He looks at their cart. “By the looks of our cart, pretty much everything except the eggs.” 

They really didn’t have anything but eggs. What’s so hard about grocery shopping anyway. 

One oppa types in a recipe in his phone to see what else they needed. 

I walk with One oppa and I introduce him to the brands I usually use when I bake. 

Hanbin and Sunny were following behind and I hear them talking to each other. Sunny must be dying inside. 

They were talking about awards and daesangs, I couldn’t really listen that much because I was busy teaching One hyung what to buy. Which was also cute he seemed to be really immersed in this grocery shopping escapade.

One oppa throws a bag of chocolate chip to Hanbin and he checks their car if they have everything they needed. 

“Uhm hyung, we don’t need some of the stuff.” Hanbin says. 

But all we took is needed to bake cookies. 

One oppa checks the list on his phone and says they got everything right. 

“What list do you have on your phone?” Hanbin asked One oppa. 

“Chocolate chip cookies.”

“Babo. We were going to make cake, hyung. Aish.”

I can’t help but laugh. Sunny is dying of laughter too. Okay this is going to be a disaster. Makes me want to watch the baking process later. 

“Let’s just make cookies. We have to go Jaeho hyung texted me already.” Hanbin says. 

“Are you guys done?” One hyung asked. 

“No. There’s still a bunch of stuff we need.”

“She needs. She’s never done decorating her place.” Sunny says.

“That’s not true. I just moved in.” 

“You moved in months ago.” 

I didn’t even realize it’s been months already. 

“I was busy.” 

“Okay, okay, enough fighting.” One oppa says laughing. 

“We gotta go.” Hanbin says. 

I watch him as he and Sunny tease each other. How does he manage to still so look good even in a plain white cap and an oversized purple shirt. 

Sunny and Hanbin laughs at each other and Hanbin rubs the top of her head jokingly. Is he always this sweet to everyone? 

I wonder when i’m going to see him again. 

“Onebin grocery shopping. Double b could never.” Sunny says. 

I look at her weirdly because I didn’t understand a word she said. 

“Miss, you have a lot of explaining to do.”

“What?” I ask. 

“I knew you worked with One but I didn’t know you were this close? Also, you’ve met Hanbin?! Seriously?! And you didn’t tell me? What the heck?”

“First of all, I met him during the fansign. Well, we met before that but I didn’t know who he was then and he remembered me during the fansign that’s why we know each other. And One oppa introduced me to him again last Saturday and you could’ve been there if you answered my 15 missed calls.”

“YOU SHOULD’VE WOKE ME UP ERIN THIS ISN’T SOMETHING YOU LET ME SLEEP ON OKAY PLEASE WAKE ME UP THE NEXT TIME BANG MY DOOR BURN MY HOUSE IF YOU NEED TO.” 

“Okay Sunny chill that was intense.”

“Also, thank you. I knew Hanbin was cool but now that I spoke to him like a normal person, he’s a thousand times cooler.”

“Why didn’t you want to take a photo?”

“I didn’t want to burden him. It was nice he asked but I know how much of a burden it is for them to be filmed and to be asked for photos on their rest days.”

“You like them that much?”

“They’re very likeable.”

I may not know anything about them especially on how they are on TV but yep, they’re really likeable. 

*insert hb texts*

 

ERIN’S POV

November 30, 2019

7:54 pm

“Here.” One oppa hands me a cup of iced americano. 

We’ve been shooting for a new line since 8 in the morning and it’s almost 8 in the evening now. We’re in the waiting area hanging out while the staff changed the set design. Waiting is the most tiring part of a work day. I get excited when doing my makeup and it’s more exciting to do the shoot itself. One oppa is usually asleep during breaks because he’s busy with the drama but now that it’s finished he isn’t that tired so he’s everywhere playing with everyone. 

“Fans sent them. He says referring to the coffee.

“That’s sweet. They always do this?”

“Not always. Only when they know shoots will last more than 10 hours.”

“How do they know?”

“I don’t know, honestly. They know everything, even the things I don’t.” He laughs.

“Must be hard huh?”

“Hmmm sometimes. It’s only bad because there are people who twists your words around to make o you look bad. But not a lot of people know me so the less people who does, the less people who hates. Hanbinnie and iKON, for example, are the ones who have it hard. Hanbin doesn’t really care about what people think of him, he just doesn’t like it when anti’s go after his family and the members because he hates it when he knows he can’t protect them. The more popular you are, the more haters you get.” 

“Maybe that’s why he’s sometimes in a bad mood.” I don’t notice I just spoke my thoughts out loud. Again. 

“You can tell when he’s in a bad mood?” His eyes widen of curiosity.

“Uhm, well we have this habit of bumping into each other and he’s usually nice whenever we do but there was this one time he completely ignored me. i really didn’t make a big deal out of it but he said he was in a bad mood so he kinda apologized.”

“You guys met before Gabbia? I didn’t know that.”

“Well, yeah. We met a few months ago.”

“That explains it.” He says and stays quiet for a while.

“Explains what?”

He smiles mischievously. “Nothing. Can I ask you something?”

I nod and wait for his question.

“Do you like Hanbin?”

“What?! No!”

He raises his brow. “You’re a really bad liar.”

“Is it that obvious?” 

One oppa nods and he looks down his feet.

“Bummer.”

“Why?”

“Well, I sorta kinda have this tiny little crush on you.”

Okay I wasn’t expecting this. AT ALL. I wanna curl up and disappear.

He’s laughing. “Are you making fun of me?”

“No. I’m serious, Erin. I did like you. I still like you.”

“Oppa...” I want to run and hide. What do I say? I’m embarrassed. What even is there to like about me?

“Hey, it’s okay. I know you didn’t see me like that that’s why I didn’t push it. I just think you’re cool and smart and funny and talented.”

“Oppa…”

“Really Erin ah, it’s okay.” He rubs the top of my head messing up my hair. “Don’t think about it too much. I don’t want anything to change between us. You’re honestly the only girl I feel comfortable talking to. Friends, okay?” He says. I nod without looking up to him. He lifts my chin up and he lifts the tip of my lips with both his pointy fingers to make me smile. 

I scrunch my nose and he laughs. 

“So, Hanbin huh?” He teases.

“Yah. Stop.”

“Wae? Wae? Wae? You said you liked him?”

This day couldn’t get any worse. I can’t believe I just admitted I liked Hanbin AND TO HIS BESTFRIEND.

“Please don’t tell him.” I beg rubbing my hands together. 

“I won’t don’t worry.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

“What if he likes you too?”

I laugh. “Like that will happen. He’s never going to see me that way.”

“You can’t be too sure of that.” He says.

Oh yes I can. Idols date really pretty actresses or co-idols not college students who part-times to be a model to be able to afford airline tickets to travel around the world. As if. 

The staff calls for us for the last layout and One oppa spends the rest of the night teasing me about Hanbin and I just want to be eaten alive by the universe.

*insert tweets and ig post*

ERIN’S POV

December 9, 2018

11:49 am

I was planning to visit a museum today with Sunny but she ditched me for an event Donghyuk was going to be so my mind was set to lay in bed the whole day and do nothing until One oppa texted me. 

It is a Saturday so might as well be productive.

After taking a bath and getting ready, One oppa calls at exactly 12 saying he’s outside my building. I rush out and look for his van but it wasn’t there. 

He gets off from the driver seat of a Lotus Evora and waves his hand telling me to get in. 

“I didn’t know you could drive. And you drive a Lotus Evora! Are you kidding me?”

He laughs. “You know cars?”

“I know when good cars.”

I scan his car and it was beautiful. The exterior was white and the interior was white and black with white leather seats. 

“One last stop then lunch. You hungry?” He asks as he drove off. 

“Kinda. Where else are we going?”

“To pick up Hanbinnie.”

“Oppa!!”

“What? He’s bored he called me earlier and I knew you had no work today so I invited you too.”

Okay I hate him. He’s doing this in purpose. I never should’ve told him I liked Hanbin. I want to pull his hair out. Aish. 

“Relax you’re being too obvious.” 

“You could’ve at least told me beforehand!”

“Would you have come if I told you?”

“No.”

“Exactly my point.”

I haven’t seen Hanbin since the day we bumped into him in the supermarket. He hasn’t been to any of the camera shops we usually go to. I know because I asked the owners if he stopped by. I thought One oppa told him about me liking him that’s why he hasn’t showed up. Sunny says they weren’t busy snd had no schedules at all so I thought I maybe scared him off. But One oppa promised he didn’t say. 

I’ve been wanting to see him. I’ve been tempted to text him and ask him how he was but I didn’t want to seem desperate or clingy. We aren’t that close anyway. 

He drives inside the luxurious condominium and parks his car at the parking lot. We wait a while before Hanbin calls saying he’s on his way down. 

“I live here too.” One oppa said. 

“Why didn’t you just go together?”

“I was scared you wouldn’t come out of your building if you knew he was in the car.”

“You really had this planned out huh?”

“Yep. I support you and tour little crush.” 

I punch him in the arm and he groans and laughs afterwards. 

Hanbin comes out of the elevator and walks towards our car. One oppa climbs to the back seat of the car and Hanbin takes the driver’s seat. 

The fact that i’m unsure if he knows how to drive makes me nervous than the fact that i’m in the front seat right beside him. 

“Hi.” He says. 

“Hello.” I gotta make sure right? “Uhm, you know how to drive?”

“I wouldn’t buy a car if I didn’t.” He smiles at me and he turns on the engine. 

“I thought...” I point behind me and One oppa laughs. 

“This is his car. Well one of his cars. I could never afford this. I don’t get royalties as much as he does.” He explains and he taps Hanbin’s shoulder. 

Hanbin says it’s not true and One oppa teases him for being humble. 

We grab a quick lunch at their favorite sushi restaurant and we drive to Everland. 

We get matching headbands and we walk around the park. They buy from every snack bar they see. 

“Why did we go to a theme park if you’re just going to eat?” I ask. 

I was getting bored and was actually looking forward on riding rollercoasters. 

“We can’t ride anything aside from a carousel cause Hanbin’s scared of height.” One oppa said. 

“Yeah right you’re the one scared.” 

They fight on who’s more scared and they make a bet on riding the scariest one in the park. Whoever screamed first loses and has to treat us dinner. 

We line up to ride the rollercoaster and I laugh at the sight of the both of them. Hanbin had his arms around One oppa’s looking all nervous and One oppa was showing how shaky his hands were to Hanbin. 

Just when we were about to go in, they both step back at the same time bumping into me. 

“We’ll just treat you dinner. Whatever you want.” One oppa says. 

“Steak? Name it. We’ll get you some.” 

There were people lining up behind us and were already starting to complain because we were taking long to get in. I push them both to the entrance until we’re all in and they both let go of each other. 

“Wanna go in front?” I ask and they both shake they’re head in unison. 

I laugh and I take the seat in front and they sit at the row behind me. 

The attendant fastens my seatbelt and I get a little more excited for the ride. 

Hanbin suddenly takes the seat beside me and the attendant fastens his seat belt as well. 

“Real men sit in the front.” He says. 

I laugh and I cheer him on. He obviously was trying to keep calm but it showed how nervous he was. 

I look through the little space in between our chairs and I ask One oppa if he was okay alone. 

“Why did I even agree to this?” He says. 

The coaster starts moving and the people starts screaming. It stops at the very top for a few seconds before the big fall and Hanbin takes my hand and grips it hard. 

One oppa and Hanbin both screamed the loudest and didn’t stop until the ride was over. I was laughing the whole time. 

The coaster stops and everybody started getting off but Hanbin was still spaced out. 

“Hanbin, we have to go now.” I said shaking him. 

He gets back to his senses and stands up. I pull his hand which was still intertwined with mine and he laughs shyly and pulls away immediately. 

“Sorry.”

One oppa was waiting for us by the exit gate. 

“Bathroom. Hurry. Now.” He says. 

We rush him to the nearest comfort room and he does his business while we wait outside. 

“Are you feeling okay?” I ask Hanbin. 

“Yeah. I’m not a pussy.” He scoffs. 

I laugh. 

“Wait here for a sec.” He tells me and runs to the other side of the park. 

One oppa must have puked everything he ate today for taking so long in the bathroom. 

Hanbin comes back with a bunch of balloons on his hand smiling like a kid. 

“For you.” He says as he handed the strings to me. 

They were mickey mouse balloons inside of normal balloons and they were the prettiest things ever. 

One oppa comes out of the comfort room looking all pale. 

“I’m gonna go ahead. I’m not feeling so well.” He says. 

“Let’s drop Erin home then let’s go home.” Hanbin says worriedly and I nod. 

He really didn’t loom okay. I feel bad. 

“Oppa, mianhae. I didn’t know you’d be this way. I never should’ve forced you to ride.”

“It’s okay. I think I just had too much to eat earlier.”

“Let’s go.” Hanbin says. 

I grab into One oppa’s arm to assist him but he pushes me aside. 

“No. You guys stay. I already called my manager he’s on his way to pick me up.”

I give him a glare and he smiles cheekily when Hanbin wasn’t looking. 

I hate him. I hate him so much. 

He hugs Hanbin and I goodbye and he walks away leaving us both behind. 

I swear i’m going to kill him. 

HANBIN’S POV

I rush out the dorm and take the elevator down as fast as I can when One hyung texts me that they’ve arrived. 

My heart beats faster when I see her sitting at the front seat. 

“Hi.” I greet her when I get in the car. 

“Hello. Uhm, you know how to drive?” 

She looked uneasy but I thought it was because she was nervous to see me but I guess not. 

“I wouldn’t buy a car if I didn’t.” Was that cocky?

“I thought...” She points at One hyung who was sitting comfortably at the back. 

“This is his car. Well one of his cars. I could never afford this. I don’t get royalties as much as he does.” One hyung says. 

That’s nor true. I have three cars. I bought my parents one each and I bought one for myself. 

The company doesn’t really allow us to get license and drive yet but I told sajangnim I was getting one and all he said was “Just make sure you don’t get in an accident.”

Bobby hyung has a car too. He got one before I did and he’s a better driver than I am. 

We drive to our go to sushi place and we have a quick lunch. She loves sushi just as much as I do so that’s good. 

When we get to Everland, she drags us both to get headbands and insisted that we wear them too. She takes a minnie mouse headband. I’m so over Mickey and Minnie but she sees to be into them which was cute. 

We walk around, eat snacks, take photos and watch kids run around with balloons in their hands and I notice Erin’s face light up every time she sees them. 

“Why did we go to a theme park if you’re just going to eat?” Erin asks. 

She looked bored and jealous over the people who comes out from the rides. 

One hyung and I have been eating nonstop since we arrived. I can’t even remember the last time I ate this much but there’s something about being in a theme park that makes me so excited to taste everything that’s sold. 

One hyung and I fight over who was scared to ride the extreme rides and Erin was laughing at probably how lame we both sound. 

“Wanna make a bet? Whoever screams first while we ride that pays for dinner.” One oppa offers. 

“Call.” I say without hesitation. 

I’ve rode rollercoasters with the boys before but I’ve never rode something that high. 

One oppa had his fingers intertwined to mine and we were both laughing at how shaky they were. 

“It’s not too late to back out now.” He says. 

“Let’s go.”

“We’ll just treat you dinner. Whatever you want.” One hyung tells Erin. 

“Steak? Name it. We’ll get you some.” I’d be willing to spend anything for her just not to get on that rollercoaster. 

She pushes us to the entrance gate and we climb up the ride. 

Erin takes the first row and we take the seats behind. 

“Dude go in front. Sit with her it’s your chance to show him how much of a man you are. She might get scared.” One hyung says. 

“Hyung she didn’t even blink when deciding to take the first seat. She can handle herself.”

“Stop being a pussy.” He unfastens my seatbelt and he pulls me up. 

I take the seat beside Erin and she looked amused to see me. 

“Real men sit in the front.” 

She laughs. “Fighting.” 

I couldn’t think straight anymore. At this point, I didn’t even care anymore if Erin was beside me. I hope she wasn’t because I have a feeling I will be screaming my lungs out later. 

The coaster starts moving and I can hear the screams from the back. I take Erin’s hand I hold her with all my might. 

The time of the ride was probably the slowest most painful time of my life. I don’t remember what I did or if I even opened my eyes. All I know is that I was praying for it to be over. 

I can feel someone shaking me and I come back tk my senses. Erin was waiting for me to get off.

I unfasten mu seatbelt and I stand up. She tugs me from behind and she looks at our hands that were still intertwined. 

I pull away immediately. Really smooth, Hanbin. 

I get off the coaster and I assist her out. 

“Bathroom. Hurry. Now.” One hyung says as soon as he saw us. 

We run to the nearest comfort room and One hyung rush inside. I wanted to assist him but I didn’t want to end up puking too. 

“Are you feeling okay?” She asks me. 

“Yeah. I’m not a pussy.” Yes I am. 

She laughs. 

We passed bu through the balloon vendor on the way here. I tell Erin to wait and I run the the other side of the park where the carousel was and I buy all the balloons left from the vendor. 

I walk back holding probably more than 10 balloons in my hand and I can see Erin smiling from ear to ear as I walked closer. 

“For you.” She takes them all and jumps in joy. 

“Let me take a photo of you.” She happily obliged and takes a step away to pose for me. 

One hyung comes out of the bathroom and says he has to leave. 

This wasn’t part of the plan. 

Erin apologizes for making him feel sick. I want to stop One hyung from leaving but he really did look sick. 

He hugs me and Erin goodbye and runs out the park. 

 

ERIN’S POV

8:27 pm

We stay at the theme park until the fireworks display. He takes me out for dinner and we decide to grab coffee after. 

I can’t keep hanging out with these guys. All they do is eat. 

Hanbin drives us to a coffee shop which only had a few people in. He seemed to know all the places that weren’t crowder for him to be caught. He probably dates a lot. 

We spent the past hours talking about life and everything in between. We shared childhood memories and laughed at embarrassing moments. 

“Don’t you miss home?” He asks. 

We talked about how I grew up in the States. 

“Korea’s pretty much my home now. It’s been for a while. But yeah, I miss it. My friends, my parents, the city, my dog. Everything.”

“Why’d you leave?” 

I become silent for a while. 

“It’s okay if you don’t want to answer. Sorry.”

“No. It’s fine. I just don’t know where to start. Uhm, I’ve been wanting to leave home ever since I can remember. My parents, they fought a lot. I can say that we were well off but my dad, he had an affair with another woman who turned out to be his first love and the reason we moved to New York. When my mom found out, she was devastated. My dad was the only one she ever loved so you can imagine how hard it must’ve been for her. My dad tried to make it right though. He tried to save the relationship but my mom had a hard time trusting him again which cause to fights. They fought everyday. It got worse as time went by. It came to a point where I was the one begging them to get a divorce. It was draining. Emotionally draining. And I was caught in between. I didn’t want to leave New York but it was the only way I could get away from them. I’m such a bad kid right?” 

He shakes his head and I can see him feeling bad over me. 

“Okay, moving on. Your turn.” 

“What do you want to know?” 

“Hmmm, what was your childhood like?”

“Meh, you don’t want to hear about it. It’s quite boring.”

“I don’t mind. I like boring.” I joked. 

“Fine.” He says and laughs. “Well, I didn’t really have a childhood. When I was little, I was different from the kids my age and they saw me differently and made fun of me because I grew up from the States so I knew more english than korean. I didn’t have that much friends and I liked different things they liked. I’ve always been into music. I started writing my own lyrics at 14 I think or maybe younger. I’d search for songs and if there was something that I liked, I wrote lyrics for it until I got the chance to be the little Indian boy. And the rest is history.”

“You always wanted to be an idol?”

“I wanted to be a rapper. I looked up to Jiyong hyung the most. Do you know GDragon?”

“Everyone knows GDragon.” I say and he laughs. 

“Yeah. He was my idol and watching him made me want to do what he did too. I was lucky I got casted into the same company that he’s in and so I started training and then the boys came one by one and we went through hell because of the survival shows but here we are now.”

“You even went through survival shows?”

“Yep. Twice.”

“How’d it go?” 

He stops and starts getting emotional. I regret asking that question. 

“Well, the first one was the toughest. It still gets us when we think about it now. I think it really ruined us mentally and emotionally because what we really were fighting for was us not disbanding and not the debut. We practiced years together and we dreamed to debut together and we were scared that if we didn’t win, some would leave. I did everything in my power to not let that happen. And now that I see it, the second survival is a blessing in disguise. We didn’t lose a member and we gained an devil disguised as an angel.” 

He laughs at the thought of his members and he releases a deep sigh. 

“Was it all worth it? Everything you’ve been through?” 

“I can say that it was. Life isn’t always good and things don’t always go according to plan but I like to remind myself that if things don’t go my way, better things are about to come. We have the best support system. Our family, our fans especially. Sunny.” He laughs. “They’re great. I feel like I could never thank them enough that’s why I work hard to make music because it’s the only thing I could think of to give back.” 

Every time I talk to Hanbin, I get this warm feeling and it always reminds me how Sunny must feel. The more I know about him the more I understand why people love him and his group. I understand why Sunny cries over them even over the small successes, I understand when Hanbin said at the concert that it wasn’t easy for them to get to where they are now and I understand why everyone cried. 

He makes me want to protect him. 

HANBIN’S POV

We’ve been eating nonstop today and now i’m taking her to get coffee. I think she secretly hates me for making her eat this much. 

We’ve been alone for hours now and aside from eating, we’ve been talking a lot and there’s so much I learned from her and about her. 

I ask her about her life in New York and immediately regret it after seeing her face while she told her story. 

She held back tears as she talked about what she went through with her parents. It took all my willpower to stop myself from holding her hand into mine. She always looked so happy and giddy every time I saw her and seeing her today with a sense of vulnerability in her face shows me a different side of her and I fall for her even more. 

I could never imagine how hard it was for her especially that she’s been carrying this baggage since she was a kid. I guess as people, it’s always good to look at what you have and be grateful because there are people who longs for it. 

“...I’m such a bad kid right?” She fakes a laugh. 

You’re not. In fact your parents are lucky to have you as their kid. They’re lucky because after everything they put you through, you still managed to be the good person that you are today. 

I admire how strong you are. But even though you’re strong, doesn’t mean it’s okay to hurt you. Okay that’s bobby’s hyung’s line but it works. 

She asks me about my semi-non-existent childhood because I spent most of it in training. 

WIN is something I always avoid talking about. And I think the members feel the same way. We’re all over it and we’ve moved on but it’s a big part us and it left a big scar on us so it’s pretty hard to forget. 

She listens as I unravel parts of me. She makes me feel like it’s okay to talk about the things that hurt and the things that used to. I’ve never felt about wanting to expose myself but today. 

I feel naked but I also feel a little lighter for some reason. 

We share a little more bits and pieces about each other until her bestfriend Sunny calls her and asks her to rush home. 

“I’m sorry about that. She wasn’t supposed to come  
over.”

“It’s okay.” I look at my watch. “It’s 10 so we’ve been together for almost 12 hours now. It’s time I give you back to your bestfriend.”

We both laugh and we prepare to leave. 

I drive her home and thank her for the day and she leaves with the sweetest smile on her face and she thanks me again for the balloons. 

I drive back to the dorm fully hoping that nobody saw us and took a photo because I don’t want to ruin this. Not before it even started.

All this time with her I came up with one thing I want to promise to do to her: I wanna protect her. 

*


	7. Bad Timing? Wrong person?

CHAPTER 4

ERIN’S POV

October 21, 2018

6:13 pm

*One texts Erin*

O: erin ahhhh!!   
E: ne oppa?  
O: have you seen it?  
E: seen what?  
O: the photos! nike just posted!  
E: not yet omg dkdlaldjksks   
O: they came out pretty well!!  
E: 😭😭😭  
O: congrats on your first feature!! we should celebrate! 🍾  
E: couldn’t have done it without your help. thank you for taking care of me 😭😭😭😭 i can’t believe this 😭  
O: you did well!! ❤️   
E: thank you 😭💕  
O: will it be okay to post one photo? your fans might get mad? 😅  
E: shouldn’t i be the one saying that? 😜  
O: doesn’t matter 😋  
E: if you say so... 😂 we worked hard on this and it doesn’t mean anything lol  
O: right!! 

I’m still in cloud 9. How did this happen? So much people who made this possible. One oppa for guiding and taking care of me during the shoot. I was shaking so much but he made me feel comfortable. The shoot lasted 16 hours. There were so many breaks in between and a lot of changes to be done on set and us but we managed to make it work. The photos are unbelievable. Was that even me? But most of all, Sunny. All of this wouldn’t have been possible if it weren’t for her. 

One oppa and I have had a lot of things to talk about during the shoot but I never would’ve thought he’d be friends with Hanbin. I should pay attention more. I didn’t even know he was famous. Maybe that’s why I got so comfortable around him. He didn’t make me feel like he was on a higher rank than me. I also just recently found out he was an actor because when I went to eat at a restaurant near school the other day, his drama was playing. I have to stop living under a rock. 

The reason I live under a rock when it comes to these actors and idols is because I’ve had a prejudice towards them that once you’re famous, you’re not allowed to be leveling with people less famous than you. I’ve heard stories about famous people being arrogant and proud. 

These people are so humble. Hanbin talks to me like he’s not one of the biggest stars today. Even the rest of the members from iKON. What I did to Yunhyeong snd Chanwoo was way beyond embarrassing and as idols it probably hurt for not being recognized but they were so cool about it. And One oppa never once mentioned about being a rapper and an actor. Sure he talked about himself but he talked to me like he was me. 

I also just started to realize how Hanbin seeme to be related with the things I do and the people I meet. 

We live in a small world, Hanbin. My bestfriend knows you, One oppa, who I just met, knows you and is bestfriend’s with you. Who else am I going to me that’s related to you? 

Now that I think about it, you are right. Destiny seems to be playing a game with us. I shouldn’t have laughed I know. 

I want to know the reason why though. Why have we been meeting? Why are you in places I am? Why are people around me connected to you? Is this just coincidence? Cause i’m starting to believe that it’s not. But I hope this brings something good to the both of us. I hope I don’t burden you because I don’t see you as a burden. I don’t think i’ll ever do. 

I like bumping into you unexpectedly. But i’m scared time will come i’d expect you to be where I am. I don’t want to expect because once I do, i’m going to end up getting hurt. I’d like to keep bumping into you without hoping that the next time I go out, i’d see you. I don’t want to be in a place and look around to see if you’re there. But I want you to be there. How complicated right? 

I look at the time at my phone and I realize I wasted 20 minutes thinking of Hanbin. 

I get up and proceed to the bathroom. I think about inviting One oppa since I said i’d treat him but I don’t want him to get uncomfortable because of Sunny. And I don’t want Sunny to get feel uncomfortable too. Maybe some other time. He’s probably busy being an actor too since he has an on going drama. 

I take a bath and change to meet up with Sunny for dinner. Sunny loves the food at TRYST so I texted her to meet me there. 

*insert posts*

 

HANBIN’S POV

*days after*

October 29, 2018

10:42 pm

Back in Korea after a few days in Japan. We have a few days free before flying to Australia next. It’s been pretty hectic but doing nothing makes me anxious so I gotta work. 

I notice the lights were on in both One hyung and Raesung’s studio. I peek in Raseung’s room since it was beside mine but it was empty. He must be in One hyung’s room across. 

I go in mine and turn on the lights. I turn on my computer. I can hear Raesung laughing from the room across. 

“Just admit it, you’re in love.” Raesung was clearly teasing One hyung. 

“Shut up i’m not! She’s just a friend.” One hyung says in defense which was clearly a lie. His voice tends to raise a pitch when he’s lying. 

I laugh at their conversation. “Who could the unlucky girl be?” I whisper to myself. 

After setting up my computer, I head over to One hyung’s studio before I start working. 

“You’re here? I thought you were in Japan?” One hyung asked. 

“I just came back this morning.” I tell him. 

“Have you eaten?” 

“I was just gonna ask you.”

I look at Raesung who was smiling from ear to ear. 

“What are you so happy about?” I ask him. 

“One hyung’s in love.” he says. 

I sit beside One hyung who was seated on couch while Reasung was on the computer chair facing us. 

“Since when?” I ask. 

“He’s making it up.” One hyung says. 

“Hyung, you haven’t shut up about her since you met her two weeks ago.”

“It’s because... she’s a new friend and I rarely meet new friends and she’s really nice and she’s really pretty.” One hyung says. Oh, boy. He likes her. 

“Who is she? Idol?” I ask. I was dying of curiosity. 

Raesung takes out his phone and searches something on it. “Have you not seen his instagram post?”

I shake my head. I haven’t had the time to open my SNS accounts. 

Raesung squeezes in between me and One hyung and he searches for One hyung’s instagram profile. He clicks on a photo where One hyung was with a girl and he takes his phone nearer to my face for me to see clearly. 

I was excited so I was smiling from ear to ear. I took Raesung’s phone and I look at the photo clearly. 

This girl looks familiar. “Is she a famous model?” I ask. 

“No. She’s a rookie. Nike booked her a few months back.” One hyung says and Raesung teases him again. 

Why does she look so familiar? I zoom in the photo snd then it hits me. Erin? It’s impossible. She said she was still in school. 

“Park Hae Rin?” I ask again. 

One hyung nods. “But she goes by the name of Erin.” 

My heart sinks. It can’t be. 

“Can I look at her profile?” 

One hyung nods. 

“She’s really pretty hyung.” Raesung tells me. 

I open her instagram page and there she was. The girl I was hoping to see tomorrow when I go to the camera shop. The girl I was looking forward to talking to ever since I last spoke to her. The girl I was excited to know one new thing about when we see each other again. The girl... the girl one of my bestfriend’s liked. 

I stop going through her instagram page and I give the phone back to Raesung. 

“Pretty right?” 

She is. Very. 

I nod to Raesung and he switches his attention back to One hyung. 

“Hyung tell us more about her. We need to know more about her if she’s going to be our sister-in-law.” Raesung was pushing One hyung. 

This is the first time Raesung is actually interested in One hyung’s love life. He usually hates the girls he dates. He thinks all they care about is there looks. I don’t know what One hyung has told Raesung about her but he seems to approve. 

“What else is there to know? I don’t know her that much yet either.” One hyung says. He’s smiling. He really likes her. 

“Hanbin hyung doesnt know anything about her yet.” Raesungs says. 

He’s right. I don’t. I didn’t even know her real name. 

“He’s not interested.” One hyung says. 

“He is!! Right hyung?” Raesung asks me. “Hyung?”

“Huh? Oh yeah. Tell us.” But i don’t want to know. I wanted to know things about her through her. 

“What do you want to know?” One hyung finally gave in. 

“Everything!” Raesung exclaims. 

“Let’s see.” One hyung starts. “Well, she grew up in New York. Her parents are still there but she decided to go her own way when she was about to start college. She’s a senior. She’s about to be done with school in a few months. She was born 1997. This is her first job. Her friend sent out her portfolio to Nike without her knowing an she got in. She loves to travel and she loves photography. What else? I told you, I don’t know her that much yet.” 

He knows so much about her. 

“Do you have her number?” Raesung teased. 

“Of course I do. We work together.”

“Do you text aside from work?” Did I just ask that out loud? When am I gonna learn how to keep my thoughts to myself? 

“Sometimes.” 

“Ooohhhh what do you guys talk about?” Raesung added. 

“You know... stuff. I don’t know what to say to her. I’ve never been this nervous with a girl.” 

Oh, boy. 

“You must really like her.” Dammit Hanbin!! Get out of this room!!

“I don’t know. I guess. I want to get to know her more. I want to ask her out. But i’m scared.” One hyung says seriously. 

“What are you scared of?” Raesung asked. 

“I don’t know. Being rejected?”

“Says the boy who’s never been rejected. Stop being scared and do something about it before you regret doing nothing at all. Right Hanbin hyung?” 

Wrong. “Right.”

Raesung was actually right and i’m actually jealous. But I have to stop being jealous. Why am I even jealous? Is it because I like her? But how can I like her when I don’t even know her? Or is it because I wanted to get to know her but someone else did it first? Then that’s just my ego. Why are feelings so complicated?

Ah, whatever. I just have to forget about her. No big deal. I can do it. 

I can’t do it. 

I can do it.   
I need to do it.   
One hyung likes her.   
One hyung likes her.   
One hyung likes her. 

Raesung and One hyung was bickering while I was lost in my thoughts. 

“Hanbin ah?” One hyung called out. 

“Huh?”

“What do you want to eat?”

I stand up from the couch and head towards the door. “I’ll just order something later. You guys eat ahead.” 

I walk out One hyung’s studio, hang the do not disturb sign at the door handle and lock myself up in mine. 

I lie down my couch and I open instagram. I type in park hae rin in my search bar and her account pops out. I hesitate to open it for a few seconds. 

One more time. One last time. 

I can’t. 

I stand up and sit at my computer chair leaving my phone by the couch. I see the photo I took of her from the first time I saw her pinned together with the other photos I took. It was messy and blurry but it was beautiful. Just as the one the photo. 

*insert photo*

I take a notebook and I write. I start matching up beats and tones to go with the lyrics until i’ve got the perfect melody. 

*insert video*

 

I see a photo of the


	8. what happens nexts?

CHAPTER 8

HANBIN’S POV

December 15, 2018

6:30 am

I wake up to a call from Jaeho hyung. My phone was at Erin’s bedside table so I take it and answer the call before she wakes up. 

Jaeho hyung informs me that he was outside Erin’s building waiting for me and that it was time to go because we might miss our flight. 

I had packed my things the night before because I really planned on spending the last few hours with Erin. It took quite an effort convincing Jaeho hyung to let me go before he caved. 

I turn back to the bed to look for my boxers and I see Erin sleeping so soundly. She even looked so beautiful in her sleep. 

I raise the blanket up to cover her body and I lean my elbow down to the bed. I rest my head on my palm and watch her sleep a little while. A few minutes more of waiting won’t kill Jaeho hyung right?

I tuck the hair covering her face behind her ear and she moves a little. 

“Hanbinnie.” She whispers with eyes still closed. She’s probably still half asleep. 

“Hmmm?” 

“I love you.” She whispers and she pulls the blanket closer to her and she’s back in her deep sleep. 

Oh god, I don’t want to leave. 

I receive another call and so I get up and start changing. I run down to meet Jaeho hyung and take the flowers and food I had him prepared back to Erin’s house. 

I take a piece of paper and leave a note by her bedside table. 

“I love you too.” I whisper as I kiss her goodbye before leaving her to sleep some more.

 

ERIN’S POV

 

“Thank you for making me the happiest person alive. I’ll see you soon, baby. I love you. -131

ps There’s breakfast at the table make sure to eat”

 

I smile at the note and I rush outside my room. A bouquet of flowers, bacon and pancakes was waiting for me by my dining table. How’d I get so lucky?

 

I go back in my room to grab my phone to text him. 

*insert texts*

*A few days after*

ERIN’S POV

December 19, 2018

9:11 pm

I had just got home from shopping Korean snacks my parents asked me to get them before my flight back to New York tomorrow. I asked Sunny to come over but she too was busy packing because she was flying to Japan as well tomorrow for IKON’S concert in Osaka. 

I never thought I’d say this but I’m jealous she gets to go. I’ve seen him perform once only and I’ve been dying to see him perform again. 

I miss my boyfriend. We’ve been living on this long distance relationship for days and it’s killing me. How do people even manage?

Hanbin is busy with his Hi-Touch events and rehearsals for the concert. He calls me every break and we video call before he goes to bed. Good thing the time zone in Japan is the same as Korea.

It’s going to be harder when I get to New York. Plus Sunny’s going to be away from me too since her parents decided to come home to Korea for the holidays. I don’t know how I’ll manage two long distance relationships. 

I squeeze in the last of the Korean snacks in my obviously overweight luggage and I lay on the floor after.

Hanbin’s been sending me songs he made and it’s the only thing I’ve been listening to for ever since he left. 

My doorbell rings so I get up to see who it is even when I know it’s probably just Sunny. She said she was coming over after packing. She knows the code to my house but she always insists on ringing the doorbell to annoy me. 

I don’t check the monitor and proceed to open the door.

“Surprise!” My mom and dad screams in unison as soon as they see me.

My mouth are wide open in disbelief and they both pull me over to squeeze me in between them.

“What are you guys doing here?!” 

“Aren’t you happy to see us?” My dad asked.

“Are you kidding me I’ve been praying this would happen!” I say. I lied I really didn’t pray for it because I know it was impossible but I did think of it and I kinda wished for it I guess my Christmas wish just came true.

I hug them both again and help them bring their luggage’s inside. 

They take off their coats and they roam around my house. It’s the first time they’re here after I moved in.

“I like what you did to the house honey.” My mom says. She comes over to me, hugs me and kisses the side of my head. “I missed you. How are you?”

I embrace her tightly and my dad walks towards us wrapping us both in his arms.

“My girls.” He says smiling so widely. He seems happy. Very happy.

My place had two rooms. I should’ve gotten the clue when my dad insisted on getting the place with two rooms. 

My dad starts unpacking his clothes and my mom unpacks my favorite snacks and places them one by one on the cupboards. 

“So, how are you? How’s school? And work?” She asks. 

I was sitting by the stool on the kitchen island.

“Great. Everything’s great. I have 3 months left before graduation so that’s exciting. And work is great. I have new friends now and a few close ones.”

“That’s good. You do look happy. It makes you even prettier.” She caresses my cheeks.

“Is it just school and work making you happy or do we have a certain person responsible for this?” my dad asks from behind. He takes the other stool and sits beside me and pulls me to him. I lean closer and he kisses the top of my head.

“So?” He asks again.

They were both staring at me and waiting for me to respond but I couldn’t say anything but I can feel myself smiling.

“Who’s the lucky boy?” My mom asked.

“About that… would you want to visit Japan before Christmas? I’d like to introduce him to you.” 

“Sounds serious.” My dad says.

“Well, I was going to wait a few months maybe after graduation to introduce him to you but since you’re already here, might as well do it.”

“Why Japan though? Is he Japanese?”

I laugh. “No. He sucks at it actually. He’s kind of in a boy group and they’re having a two-day concert in Japan.”

“Kind of? Boy group? Like backstreet boys?” My mom asked.

I laugh again. “Sort of like that. Like BIGBANG. You know BIGBANG right?” 

“That’s interesting.” My dad says.

My mom was getting excited. I’ve never introduced a guy before. Not even my ex. 

“What group is he in?”

“iKON.”

“Oh! Loooove Sce-na-ri-oooo.” My dad sings.

My eyes widen. “You know them?! I didn’t even know them!”

“Korea Town played that song for months! Everybody knows that song.”

My mom was busy in her phone already googling my boyfriend.

She flashes up the screen to show the photo and ask who out of the seven was Hanbin.

“Guess.” I tell them.

“Him? Oh, I really like him. He looks so good.” My mom says as she pointed at Yunhyeong.

“Daddy?”

He takes the phone from my mom and looks closely. 

“Him. I like him. He looks cool.” He says pointing at Junhoe.

“No! You both got it wrong.” 

They point at member after member based on their preferences. 

Yunhyeong, Junhoe, CHanwoo, Jinhwan, Donghyuk, and Bobby.

“You missed one.”

They both hesitate to say.

“What? You think he’s ugly?!”

They shake their heads and I glare at them.

“It’s because that’s an old photo! Even I haven’t seen that yet.” 

I take my mom’s phone and I search a more recent photo and show them.

“Oh, he’s not that bad.” My dad says.

“You guys are so mean.”

They both laugh at me and my dad hugs me from the side. “You can love whoever you want honey as long as he takes care of you and loves you, nothing else matters.”

“If you’re saying that, that means you still think he’s not good looking.”

They both laugh again.

“Love is blind, honey.” My mom says.

“Mom!” 

They laugh harder and they continue to tease me. 

We spend the night catching up. My mom made dinner and we ate at the house like family.

It was different. Everything seemed better and lighter. They always had to pretend to be okay in front of me even after I went away for college. Going home for the holidays years back was still stressful. They try to hide and whisper around every time they fought but what they don’t know is that I still heard everything. 

But this time, it looks real. And I think it is. It was a happy night. I forgot the last time we had dinner like this. My heart is full. 

My parents agreed on going to Japan with me. The concert was on the 22nd and we booked a flight a day before. Hanbin think I’m flying to the States tomorrow evening and it’s going to stay that way. I wanna surprise him and I hope I pull this off.

HANBIN’S POV

December 21, 2018

4:34 pm

If it’s 4:34 here in Japan then it’s 2:35am in New York. Erin has been asleep since she arrived at her parent’s house but that was 12 hours ago. I never met a person who sleeps that much except for Bobby hyung.

Speaking of Bobby hyung, we’re celebrating his birthday tonight. Our manager got him a suite so we can celebrate there instead of going out. It’s hard to drink freely when you’re in a public place and Bobby hyung has this drink ‘til you drop rule when celebrating his birthday.

Donghyuk and Yunhyeong hyung were in charge of the cake and Junhoe and Jinhwan hyung were in charge of the drinks. I’m in Bobby hyung’s bed while he and Chanwoo was in the living room of the suite playing games. 

I’ve been complaining how much I missed my girlfriend they had to move out of the room. Bobby hyung swore he would kick my ass if I followed them out in the living room so I’m stuck here. 

Jaeho comes in the hotel room and proceeds directly to the bedroom where I was.

“Ya, Bobby asked not to be disturbed today. Go back to your room.” He says.

“But I don’t wanna be alone it’s lonely.” I shake my whole body like a worm.

“I’ll stay with you. Kaja.” 

He pulls me out of the bed leaving me to drop on the floor and pulls me out of the bedroom.

“Hyung it hurts stop!!” My skin was rubbing the carpeted floor. 

I get up and hug Jaeho hyung and we both walk out of Bobby hyung’s room.

He takes me to my room but doesn’t come in with me.

“I thought you were staying with me?”

“I just have to get something I’ll be back.”

I nod and get in my room only to find my girlfriend standing by the large glass window that was overlooking the city.

“Surprise!” She screams silently.

I don’t waste a moment and run to her picking her up from the ground.

She laughs and wraps her arms around my neck. I put her down and kiss her.

“What are you doing here?! How?!” I ask. She doesn’t get to answer before I pull her into my arms again. “I missed you. So much. I was about to die. I’m so happy you’re here. Why are you here? What about your parents?”

She giggles and hugs me back. “I missed you too baby.”

“How?” I sit by the edge of the bed taking her in my lap.

“My parents surprised me by going home in Korea and I kinda convinced them to come here because I wanted to see you. Jaeho oppa helped me get in.”

“Your parents are here? You told them about me?”

She nods. 

“Oh god. I’m not ready to die yet.” I start getting nervous. This is what Erin probably felt meeting my mom.

She laughs. I missed her laugh.

“I told them not to be too hard on you so it’s going to be okay.” She says teasingly. 

I take her face in my hands and I look at her face. “I missed this face.” 

I kiss her forehead and her eyes. I kiss her cute nose and I kiss her chin. I pull away to look at her face one more time before I kiss her on the lips.

I kiss her gently and slowly. My hand moves to her nape and her hands finds their way to my face. 

She tilts her head giving me a better chance of kissing her and I kiss her to show her how much I missed her.

She kisses me back with the same intent and it’s never felt this good and satisfying before. I’ve been longing for her touch, her smell, and her kisses and it feels like heaven to have her here with me.

“Hanbin hyung we’re leaving the...” Donghyuk suddenly comes in with a cake in his hands. 

Erin gets off my lap as fast as she can and I stand up after she gets up.

“I’m so sorry, hyung. I didn’t know.”

Erin was turning red because of embarrassment but she was trying to hold back her laughter.

“Donghyuk-ah, there’s this thing called knocking.” 

He ignores me. He places the cake inside the fridge and walks towards Erin. 

“Annyeong haseyo, noona.” He greets her sweetly. He walks closer to her and shakes her hand. “You’re really pretty. Hyun she’s really pretty.”

I remove his hand from my girlfriend’s hand and Erin’s glares at me.

“What?” I ask.

She squints her yes at me and focuses back to Donghyuk. “I’m sorry we had to meet this way.”

Yunhyeong barges in the room and stops as soon as she sees Erin.

“Oh, annyeong haseyo.” He walks closer to shake her hand too and I remove his hand again right away.

“What are you guys doing here?” 

“I heard there’s a girl in here!” Jinhwan shouts as he comes barging in. He stops when he sees Erin and bows. “I didn’t think it was true I’m sorry.”

They all seem to be taken aback by seeing a girl. This just proves how not normal this is. 

Erin’s laughing. “It’s okay. Hi, I’m Erin.” She offers and handshake and Jinhwan takes it.

“Ya! Stop holding other guys’ hands!” I tell her but she ignores me and continues to shake Jinhwan hyung’s hand. 

“I caught them kissing.” Donghyuk bluntly says.

“Ya! Shut up!”

Yunhyeong hyung’s and Jinhwan hyung’s eyes were widen.

Erin takes her hands to her cheeks to cover up her redness.

“Do you know how to kiss? Does he even know how to kiss?” Jinhwan hyung asks Erin.

“Does he? He’s never been with a girl before?” Yunhyeong hyung adds.

“She knows about the girls I’ve been with but thanks hyung.” I fist bump Yunhyeong. That’s what you call loyalty. 

“I’m sorry.” He apologizes for lying to Erin. “But you’re the first girl he’s really been with.”

Erin nods. She hasn’t stopped laughing after the three came in.

“Can you go now? Jebal. Get out.” I begged.

“Erin noona, come to Bobby hyung’s party later. It’s just gonna be us.”

“No it’s okay. I just came here to say hi to Hanbin. And everyone else.” She laughs. “I have plans with my friend. Thanks for the invite though.” 

“Is your friend pretty? Let her come too. It’s going to be fun.” Jinhwan hyung says.

“Yes she’s pretty and she’s tall. She likes Donghyuk. Also, are you aware you’re inviting girls to a party where all of us but Chanwoo ends up naked after getting drunk?” I asked.

“I heard my name what’s going on?” Chanwoo comes in the room with Bobby following from behind.

“Oh! There’s a girl in your room!” Chanwoo exclaims. She bows and shakes Erin’s hands politely.

Bobby introduces himself to Erin and reaches out for a hug. I pull Erin away from him before he gets the chance to. 

“I know you like him so no hugs.” I tell her. “You, stay away.” I tell Bobby hyung. 

Junhoe comes in the room and lies down the bed and continues to do things on his phone.

We were all standing beside the bed crowding up in a circle.

“What’s this meeting for? Why are you all standing?” Junhoe asked still lying on the bed. He gets up when he sees Erin and introduces himself.

“I’m sorry about this.” I whisper to Erin.

“It’s okay.” She smiles. She obviously liked it. 

“Boys, this is my girlfriend Erin, Erin, meet the boys. Now get out everybody.”

“Are you going to kiss again?” Jinhwan asked

“They kissed?” Chanwoo asked innocently.

“Make out.” Donghyuk says.

“Ooohh! I’m proud of you!” Bobby says.

“Let’s go so they can get back to kissing.” Yunhyeong hyung says and Junhoe makes those annoying Bruce Lee noises he make. 

“See you later sister-in-law. Bring your friend with you. We promise we won’t take off our clothes no matter how drunk we get.”

They all get out of the room leaving me and Erin behind.

ERIN’S POV

“That was interesting.” I laugh

“Yeah. I’m sorry about them. They’re crazy like that.” He says and pulls me closer to him hugging me again. 

“Will you come later?”

“Do you want me to?”

He pulls away from the hug and moves his hands on top of my shoulders. “Of course I do. You know i’’d take every chance to be with you.”

I smile and I go back hugging him. “Me too. I was hoping for a quiet night with Sunny but she’s probably going to want to come if I tell her.”

“I like her. She’s cool. She treats me like a normal human being.”

“Oh if you only know how she’s like when you’re not around. She’s crazy about you guys. She knows everything about you. Makes me kinda jealous.” 

He kisses me at the side of my head. “You’re cute. I kinda like that you get jealous. That means you like me very much.”

“Even I can’t believe how much I like you. I can’t believe I convinced my parents to fly to Japan just to see you. You must feel really lucky.”

“The fact that I have you in my life makes me the luckiest.”

This is why I love him. He makes me feel pretty. He makes me feel loved. He makes me feel wanted. He makes me feel that I’m enough. 

I look up to him and I tilt my head up to him. He was a few inches taller than I was so I had to tiptoe whenever I wanted to kiss him. He leans down to reach for my lips and our lips meet halfway. He pulls me closer to him leaving no space between us and he cups my with both his hands. He hand moves to my neck and the other find its way to my lower back. Our kiss is getting more intense as seconds go by. His hands are now both on my waist. He tilts the hem my shirt up a little and his hands make their way inside my sweatshirt. I moan as his skin touched mine. He continues to kiss me passionately and he lifts me up from the ground carrying me. I wrap my legs around him as he smacks my back to the hotel wall without breaking the kiss. 

This is probably the longest time I’ve held my breath and I never knew I was capable of it. We catch our breaths for a few seconds before crashing our lips back to where they belong. He steps back disconnecting my back from the wall and he lays me flat on the bed. He stands up without breaking stare from my eyes and he pulls up his shirt taking it off from him. He positions himself on top of me and he goes back to kissing me. He takes of the hoodie I was wearing and leaving the spaghetti strap top I had on. He kisses my neck and he pulls down the strap from my left arm leaving kisses on my shoulder. He moves to my right shoulder and and traces kisses as he pulled down the strap. 

I tilt my body up as he pulled down my top with my pants along with it. He looks at my body as if he was staring at art and I’ve never felt more confident in my life. I’ve always hated my body. I’ve always felt insecure about. I’ve always compared myself to other people and asked why I wasn’t as skinny as them or as sexy as them but his stares makes me feel beautiful and he makes me want to believe him. 

My phone rings startling the both of us. Hanbin traces the sound and he reaches out to the pocket of my hoodie and takes my phone out. He laughs as he sees who was calling. 

“There’s nothing like a mother’s instinct they say.” 

What nice timing. 

He doesn’t move. He’s still kneeling in front of me shirtless as I lay in front of me. He hands me my phone and I answer it on speaker mode. I don’t know why I did that but I wanted Hanbin to hear our conversation. 

“Yeah?” I say as soon as slide my phone screen to the right. 

“Where are you? It’s almost time for dinner. We have to go.”

I rolls my eyes and Hanbin laughs quietly. 

“I’ll be down in a minute.” I inform her. 

“Are you not done yet you’ve been gone for almost an hour now.”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“Nothing. Just be safe okay? I’m way too young to be a grandmother.”

“Mom!!!”

Hanbins blurts out laughing and I immediately drop the call. I cover my face with both my hands hiding from embarrassment. I can’t believe my mother just said that. 

Hanbin lies down beside me still laughing. “She’s pretty... blunt.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m so embarrassed. She’s... liberated. I think it’s because she’s been in America for too long. I’m sorry.”

He still laughing. “I wasn’t expecting that at all. It’s refreshing.”

He gets up and kisses me on the lips. He takes my sleeveless top and he pulls me up in a sitting position so that he could put it on me. I stand up and I put on my pants while he wears his shirt back. 

He pulls me to him and he wraps his arms around my waist. He kisses my bare shoulder and he rests his chin on my shoulder. 

“Everything about you is amazing, Erin. Even your family. Everyday i’m with you I learn a little more of you and it makes me fall deeper in love with you. You’re so perfect.” He says. 

He couldn’t be anymore sweeter. 

“Nobody’s perfect.” I tell him. 

“You’re perfect for me. And that’s what makes you perfect.” 

He pulls away and he kisses me on the lips. He reaches for my hoodie that was left on the floor and he helps me put it back on. 

“Can I say hi to your parents? It would be rude to not say hi. They know you’re with me right?”

I nod. 

He’s such a good person and an even better boyfriend. It makes me think all the years of waiting for the perfect guy was worth it. He’s everything i’ve ever dreamed. Maybe even more. 

He takes my hand and we both step outside. 

“I’ll follow in a few minutes. What’s your room number?”

“1402.”

He nods and I take the elevator down. 

He follows a few minutes after knocking on my parents hotel room door. 

My dad wanted to intimidate Hanbin so he insisted he be the one to open the door. 

“Annyeong haseyo.” Hanbin says as soon as Daddy opens the door. He makes a 90-degree bow and when he sees my mom from behind he bows again. 

“What are you doing here?” My dad asked. He was teasing him. Hanbin couldn’t say a word. 

“Dad.” I pull him away from the door and let Hanbin come in. Sunny was in the room too because she was coming to dinner with us. 

She’s trying to hold her laughter. 

My mom and Sunny was seated by the coffee table and my dad was standing by the bed where Hanbin was. 

My dad was tall. He was a big man so he always come out as intimidating. But he’s really a sweetheart and he’s really funny. I used to looked up to him. Used to. I stopped after I found out about his affair. I used to say I wanted to marry a man like my father. But after everything, I wouldn’t want to get married to a person who didn’t love me as much as I loved him. That’s what happened to my parents. 

Although he had shortcomings as a husband, he never did as a dad and that I appreciate. He’s there for me in every aspects. Even in love. He’s one of the people I ask advice from. Life, school, now love. He happens to always know what to say. 

Hanbin hasn’t looked up ever since he stepped in the room. He was looking at his toes with his hand in his chest. He was nervous. 

“You love my daughter?” My dad asked. This was a bad idea. They can get very embarrassing sometimes. 

Hanbin looks up to my dad as if he didn’t hear anything. And then he nods. “Yes sir.” 

Oh god. 

My dad opens his arms wide and hugs Hanbin. And then he laughs. 

“I was just messing with you.” Hanbin hugs him back shyly. He releases a sigh of relief and smiles. 

“I’m sorry about him.” I say. 

He shakes his head telling me it’s okay. 

My mom stands up and hugs Hanbin too. I sit by the coffee table across Sunny while my parents and Hanbin make small talk. 

“I’m probably the luckiest fan alive to have witnessed this.” Sunny says and I laugh. 

My parents invite Hanbin to dinner but he couldn’t because his manager won’t allow him. Sunny explains that they’re really big here in Japan so people would probably notice him and get suspicious since he’s never been seen with any of us. 

After a few minutes of talking, Hanbin goes back up his room to celebrate Bobby’s birthday and we get to dinner. Sunny promised we’ll come after dinner and it’s all she talks about during. 

Bobby’s party was all sorts of fun. It was just the members and Sunny and me. They were all very welcoming and they treated us like they’ve known us for years. 

One thing Hanbin appreciated about Sunny was that she didn’t act like a fan in front of them. She acted like a friend. She kept her cool the whole time but cried for almost an hour after we got back to out hotel room. Hanbin walked us to the room and helped me assist Sunny who was super drunk. 

Our hotel room had two beds. Sunny was crying on mine while Hanbin tried to calm her down while I tried to make her coffee. 

“I can’t believe this happened. I just met best boys.” 

She went on and on about how she didn’t believe she was in the same room as iKON aside from concerts and fan signs. 

Hanbin was laughing and asking her what she saw in them to be loved so much and she said that they were just true and real and unafraid of showing who they really were and that made them more lovable to people and to the public. 

Sunny wasn’t only crying. She was hysterical. And Hanbin was laughing his ass out. So was I. 

After a few minutes she finally calmed down and went to sleep. Hanbin hung around for an hour before he went back to his room. He had a few more hours to sleep because they had early morning rehearsals tomorrow. 

ERIN’S POV

December 23, 2018

11:39 pm

Hanbin’s agency rented out a restaurant that could cater all the staff who worked with them during their two-day concert. It was a big venue enough for almost 200 people. 

Sunny and I were invited. I didn’t want to go because we weren’t going to know anyone there but Hanbin said One oppa and their other friends were coming so we can hang with them. 

There were more than just the staff who was there. The members’ family and other artists from the company flew in to attend the party too. It wasn’t just and after-party, it became a real party. Like the company’s christmas party. 

Sunny and I were with One oppa and the boys. They had girls around hanging out with them so it wasn’t awkward. Hanbin and the other members were busy entertaining guests. I didn’t mind though. I didn’t want to be a bother. I didn’t even want to come. But he was persistent and I, too, couldn’t say no. Not because I loved being around all this people or being shown off to close friends as his girlfriend or the attention. It was because I loved being around him and not being around him made me miss him. A lot. 

I excuse myself to go to the washroom and Sunny asked if I needed company. I said I was okay on going alone and so I did. 

After using the toilet, I wash my hands with soap and I take my time to dry them in the dryer. I retouch my make up before heading out again. 

A man was standing outside the woman’s room leaning at the wall with back faced to me. He must’ve heard me so he looks back and turns around arms crossed. He was probably on his late forties or early fifties amd he was wearing this hat I couldn’t judge because Hanbin could wear it someday. I never understand his style really but I love that he’s confident with what he chooses to wear. 

“You must be Hanbin’s girlfriend.” He says. “The one everyone’s talking about.”

I don’t answer him but I greet him. 

“Stay away from him.” 

I was taken aback by his words. I didn’t know who he was but he seemed to be serious about what he said. 

“I don’t want you messing up my plans for him. Stay away.” He says before disappearing from my sight. 

My heart sinks. The least that I want to be is a distraction to Hanbin and he made it sound so convincing that I was no good for him. 

I stay standing still at the same spot that man left me until Sunny comes to find me. 

“Are you okay?” She asked as soon as she saw me. 

“Hmm? Oh yeah. Let’s go.” I smile and take her into my arms and we walk back to One oppa’s table. 

“Can I ask you something?” I was seated next to One oppa and Sunny. Sunny was busy talking with Raesung who was seated across. They were fighting about something I couldn’t understand. 

One oppa leans closer and waits for my question. 

“Who’s the guy wearing the gray hat?”

One oppa looks around and spots who I was talking about. 

“Sajangnim. Our CEO. Why?”

CEO. Their president just asked me to stop seeing Hanbin. I stay quiet for a while debating on if I should tell Hanbin about it or not. 

One oppa notices I was deep in thought so he nudges me. “What’s wrong? Did sajangnim talk to you?”

I shake my head. I didn’t know why but I just lied. 

“I was just curious who he was. Everyone was paying attention to him.”

He walks towards the iKON’s table and he asks a manager to take his photos. They were all smiling and laughing while they chitchat. 

“He seems nice.” I say. 

One oppa scoffs. He looks at their table and looks back at me. “He’s only nice now because they sold out a two-day dome concert.”

He must really resent him. 

I don’t ask anymore questions because I didn’t want to be asked too. One oppa always knew if something was bothering me. I try to brush off the words their sajangnim told me and try to enjoy the rest of the party. 

HANBIN’S POV

After the party, Seungri hyung invited everyone to come with him to a club I forgot the name of. He says he was spinning and he could get everyone in. 

The members were all in a good mood so they decide to go as well as One hyung and the others. 

Erin wanted to go home but Sunny didn’t for she was having fun with the girls at One hyung’s table. 

I decide to go back to the hotel with Erin since I wasn’t really a fan of crowded noisy places and drinking. 

It was past midnight so the streets weren’t crowded anymore.

Erin and I walk to the hotel hand in hand. It was nice. This was the first time I walked in the streets holding my girlfriend’s hand. I want to do it more often. 

She was quiet ever since we got out of the restaurant. We’ve been walking for at least 10 minutes now but she hasn’t responded to any of my questions or laughed at any of my jokes. She was staring blankly at the street in front of us. 

I stop walking and she notices so she stops too. I turn her to face me and I cup her face with my hands. “What’s wrong?”

She looked confused for a second and then she realizes she hasn’t said anything to me since we got together. She hasn’t even congratulated me for the successful show. “Nothing. I’m sorry. What were you saying?”

It was obvious that it wasn’t nothing but I didn’t want to push it so I ask her, “What are you thinking about?”

She stares into my eyes and releases a quick breath before speaking. “Do you love me?”

Ok I wasn’t expecting that. “What kind of question is that? Did you not believe the first 100 times I said it?”

“Would you leave me if word comes out about our relationship?”

So this is what she’s worried about. “Baby, do you think the idols who say they’ve broken up with their partners really breaks up with their partners?” 

She shrugs. 

“Hey, we’re not breaking up. Even when the word come out. We’ll find a way to deal with it but breaking up is not an option. Okay?”

She nods. She looks convinced until she asks another question, “Do you think it will come to a point where I will be the one to ruin everything you worked hard for?”

This is one of the very few times I wish I wasn’t an idol. I’ve sacrificed my whole life to get to where I am. Erin knows that. And for her to think she can be the one to ruin it breaks my heart. It breaks my heart because I know it could happen. I’ve seen it happen to other older idols. But even though I know it could, I wouldn’t let it. 

“I won’t let the media ruin what I worked hard for for years and I wouldn’t let the media ruin everything I have with you. You’re my inspiration, my strength. I haven’t written one sad song ever since you came and it used to be my forte. You make work lighter and less stressful. And the people who won’t be able to accept that doesn’t really love me. Just because I’m in a relationship doesn’t mean I’ll leave my fans. Fans are family and I don’t want them to think that you’re taking me away from them because you’re not. I know you’re not. I know you’re here to join the family. I trust my fans and I know they trust me. I love them and I know they love me. So whatever decision I make I know they’ll be happy for me.”

She wraps her arms around my neck and I take her by her waist. I kiss the side of her head. “Stop worrying too much.” 

She nods. 

“I’m still sad you doubted the love I have for you.”

“I’m sorry I asked. I know you do.” She tiptoes in front of me and reach for my lips to give it a peck. 

“Do it one more time and I’ll forgive you.”

She laughs and she kisses me again this time longer. 

ERIN’S POV

March 23, 2019

6:26 am

*a few months after*

It’s barely 7am but I’m already up. I’m excited and nervous at the same time. Today’s graduation day. 

My parents are still jet lagged so they’ve been up since 4am. I was too, I just didn’t want to go out yet. Now until now because I smell bacon and pancakes. 

iKON’s on hiatus and I thought that meant Hanbin and I would get more chances of being together but it’s been just once a week. We were lucky if we had a chance to meet twice. 

He’d often sleepover at my place and sometimes he’d bring the boys over and play. 

January, they’ve been busy with award shows and their encore concert. February, they’ve been traveling Asia a lot. They’ve been chosen as the new ambassadors of Samsung which is BIG and Hanbin was really happy about it. 

They had just visited New York last week. And I am leaving for New York tomorrow. Sucks that we didn’t get to be there at the same time but he promised to go with me before the year ends. 

I promised my parents I’d go home after graduation and since Hanbin was going to be super busy because of schedules and traveling and preparing for his solo album, it was the perfect time to go. Also so that I could go back here immediately. 

The commencement exercises were to start at 10am so I had to be there at least an hour early. I had my dress picked out already and I shampooed my hair last night before I slept so that I didn’t have to rush to get ready today. 

I eat breakfast with my parents and I get ready. I do my own make up and fix my own hair and we leave for the event just on time. 

Hanbin was texting me nonstop during the program. He apologized for not being able to attend one of the most important days of my life because 1. he had a prior commitment aka an endorsement shoot and 2. He wasn’t allowed to go. I was really okay with it though because I understood our situation. We planned to celebrate tonight before I leave. 

After the program, my parents and Sunny’s parents threw a little party for me and Sunny at our apartment. They prepared balloons and flowers and gifts. 

After a few hours of laughing at my dad’s inappropriate jokes and few bottles of wine, Sunny and his parents go home. I start cleaning up the kitchen and my mom comes out to help but I let her go back to their room because she was already drunk. 

It was getting late but I haven’t heard from Hanbin yet. I was starting to feel bad. 

I cleaned out the dishes and washed my hands and then my phone rings. He tells me to come down and of course I do as fast as I can. 

He was standing outside my building with a big bouquet of flowers and a cake on the other hand. 

I rush to hug him as soon as I see him and he wraps his arms around me squeezing me. 

“Congratulations baby. I’m sorry I’m late I had to look for an open flower shop.”

“Doesn’t matter. I’m just happy your here.” I tell him honestly. 

He pulls away and gives me the flowers and cake. He tucks my hair behind my ear and he pulls my chin to his face so that he could kiss me on the lips. 

Oh how much I missed his lips on mine

*insert posts*

HANBIN’S POV

I wanted to take her out to a nice fancy dinner but I wasn’t allowed to do that so I rented out a suite where I had fancy dinner and wine prepared for us. There were flower petals and candles everywhere and I turn on only the dim lights once we get in. 

There were more gifts waiting for her on the couch one from each member and one from each funny friend. My friends love her they wished they could celebrate with us but this is the only time we have together so no sharing. 

“You like it? Steak’s probably cold though we’re a few hours late.”

“It definitely is cold but I love it. Thank you.” She says sincerely. 

She looks so beautiful tonight. Every time I see her she gets more and more beautiful. I want her. I need her. I missed her so much and that little black dress of hers isn’t helping. 

I pull her to me kissing her in a whim without giving her time to think or even breathe. She takes my kiss and she opens her mouth letting my tongue dip inside her mouth. My hands on her nape and the other one is on her waist while she was her arms wrapped around my waist. 

It’s been 9 long days since I saw her, held her, touched her and those 9 days has been nothing but torture. And to think that she’s leaving again tomorrow for a few weeks makes me not want to waste any minute more. 

I take off my coat and she takes off hers leaving them  
both on the carpeted floor. I take a few steps back until I feel the edge of the bed behind my knees and I look at her intensely. She looks at me with the same amount of energy. 

I sit on the edge of the bed and I take her on top of me so that she’s straddling me. Her little black dress lifts up showing just enough skin to make me crave for her that I already am. 

I pull her face down to mine kissing her again as I caressed here body with my hands. Her hands are rested on top of my chest as she moaned to my kisses. 

She showed me how much she missed me with the kisses she was giving me. She missed me as much as I missed her. 

She takes the hem of my shirt and he pulls it off me throwing it down on the floor. I insert my hands into her dress feeling her skin but I don’t take it off yet. 

I squeeze her ass in my hands and caress her body until my hands find her boobs. My hands squeeze them leaving her to moan a little loadly. 

I push myself to her making her feel how hard I was because of her. 

I lift up her dress just until the top of her breasts and unbuckle her bra. I was lucky she was wearing a strapless one. I take her breast into my mouth massaging her hard nipple with my tongue. She leans back and my hand assist her back as I continued to suck and lick her boobs alternately. Her moans her music to my ears. 

I pull out her dress off her and I flip her around, laying her back on the bed. I unbuckle my belt and I unzip my pants off of me. I hook her undies and pull it off her. I trail down kisses from her chest down to her abdomen and her body shivers when I leave a kiss at her pelvic bone. 

My knees are on the bed as I position myself on top of her. I rub her sensitive part with my thumb and her body shakes at the feel of it. I kiss her as I slowly enter her leaving her to moan in my lips. I groan at her tightness and once I’m fully inside of her I kiss her again and I thrust myself against her slowly. Our lips are brushing together as she moans. 

I thrust against her a little faster now and I stop her from moaning so load by covering her mouth with my kiss. I kiss her deeply and I find my breath by her neck I I continued to thrust against her. 

I hold my breath when I’m about to finish and she shoves her nails in my back gripping me signaling she was about to come too. 

We let out deep breaths and I hold myself up looking at how beautiful she is. I kiss her deeply before collapsing on top of her.

I move to the side lying down beside her still a bit panting. 

“Don’t go tomorrow.” I tell her. 

“Come with me.” She says. 

“If only I can, I would.”

I wrap my arms around her and I spoon her. I kiss the back of her head and I leave a kiss on her shoulder. There’s something about her shoulders that I really love. 

“You’re still with me but I already miss you.” I tell her. 

“I won’t be gone long. You’re gonna be so busy you won’t even notice I left. I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Impossible. Every minute without you is dreadful.”

“You make me don’t want to leave.”

“Then don’t.”

“If only I can, I would.” She mimics me and laugh. 

We catch up on the days we were away and we tell stories we didn’t have a chance to tell. We kiss a lot more and we make love a lot more before falling asleep in each other’s arms. Good thing Erin doesn’t leave ‘til late tonight so we won’t need to wake up early. 

ERIN’S POV

March 25, 2019

2:38 pm

My phone has been buzzing nonstop since I landed a few minutes ago. I read the articles and the news breaking about Hanbin and I’s relationship. My agency have been calling but I haven’t answered any calls yet. Not until I talk to Hanbin. 

I haven’t gotten a hold of him yet. It’s 4am in Seoul so he’s probably still sleeping clueless of what just happened. 

I’m on my way to my house at the back of my father’s car. My fingers are trembling. My phone buzzes once again and I see it’s from Jaeho manager. 

*a few hours later*

Jaeho oppa had texted me that a member of the company who was here in New York wanted to speak to me regarding the issue. I’ve been worried sick and Hanbin won’t wake up until hours later so I decide to meet with whoever it was. 

I turn my phone down because every text I got got me feeling more and more anxious. I was even feeling nauseous. I watch every person come in expecting it would finally be him but he doesn’t come until 14 people. 

A familiar hat enters the restaurant. My heart starts to race at the sight of Hanbin’s boss. 

This isn’t good. 

I stand up and he asks me to sit down as he sits down on the chair in front of me. He flops down a brown envelope on the of the table and crosses his arm. 

“Have you talked to Hanbin?” He asked. 

I shake my head. 

“Didn’t I tell you to stay away?”

This makes me look at him. 

He takes the envelop and takes out papers one by one and placing it in front of me one by one. 

“A petition signed by more than 10,000 fans asking Hanbin to kill himself, a list of album buyers asking for a refund of the albums they bought, article comments saying how good your are for each other because your father’s a cheater and his isn’t any good either, 14,578 people left the official fan site, hashtag trends saying #BoycottiKON #HanbinIsNoGood trending in places 1 and 2 at thirteen countries, comments about you being a whore by going out with Jaewon first before Hanbin, Samsung called wanting to clear up this issue because people have been messaging them about your family background and they don’t support infidelity. The list goes on.”

I didn’t notice but I had just started crying. I feel the tears fall from my eye and I immediately wipe it even though I know he already noticed. 

“This is why I asked you to stay away. Because people think that once you’re a public figure, they own you. iKON has just started getting big and losing all of this as fast as lightning is terrifying both for the members and for the company. Investors have been calling ever since the news broke out asking to fix it as fast as I can. We both know I can’t fix this if you won’t help me. Save his career. Save what he worked for his whole life.”

I was so angry. I was angry at him because he came out so rudely. I was angry at Hanbin for not answering my calls yet. I was angry at the people for including my parents and Hanbin’s parents in this mess, and I was angry at the fact that he was right. 

I don’t say anything but keep crying. 

“Don’t come back to Korea. I heard you just graduated. So you won’t be skipping school. Stay away from him. Leave for good. This is just the beginning. The news will spread more and a lot of people will get involved more. Protect him. Protect his group. Protect your parents. Protect his parens and his little sister.”

I cry harder good thing there were only a few people at the restaurant. 

“We both know how stubborn Hanbin is that’s why I need to do it for him.”

My phone rings and it was Hanbin. 

We both look at the screen of my phone watching it ring and ring and ring. 

My head was getting heavy and I started to feel dizzy. I need to leave this instant. 

I stand up and I grab my phone. I place it in front of him and I leave.


	9. No words

CHAPTER 7

ERIN’S POV

December 10, 2019

4:24 am

I look at my phone again to see if I was reading the texts right. Did Kim Hanbin just ask me out? Is he serious?

I struggle to type in a reply because my hands were shaking to much. 

*insert texts*

It’s been 27 minutes since I sent out my reply. Did he fall asleep? Was this a joke? I kinda feel stupid. 

I lie in my bed and try to think he just probably fell asleep. Until my phone chimes again. 

*insert texts*

I jump out of my bed and walk in to my closer in a rush. I change into jeans and a decent top and take a nice coat to make up for the plain outfit. 

I look into the mirror and oh god, my face looks terrible. My eyes are still all puffy because of all the crying earlier.

I dab on tint on my cheeks and on my lips. I forgot to open the lights so I didn’t notice I used the red tint so now it looks like i’m trying to hard to look good. 

I have no time to erase the make up on me anymore. I slip on sneakers and rush out my place. 

I fix my hair while waiting for the elevator and I tie my shoes properly once I get in. 

I’m nervous but i’m also excited. 

I see his car waiting outside my building and I hear the locks open while I was walking towards it. 

I get in the front seat and he has his one arm resting on top of the steering wheel and he was slightly turned to my direction. 

“Hi.” He says smilingly. 

He was wearing round specs just like his manager’s, a denim jacket and he had a bandaid on his face. 

I smile back at him. “Hi. I wasn’t expecting you to come.”

“I didn’t think I could wait another day without seeing you.”

Smooth. I like it. 

“You like pancakes?” He asked as he drove away from my building. 

“I love ‘em.” The only time I get to eat pancakes fro breakfast is when I make them at home. It’s always been a favorite ever since. Maybe because I grew up in the States so it was the usual breakfast. 

“Good.”

He takes me into this American diner in Gangnam. We were the only ones there. Well I can guess since it’s so early in the morning. 

We were assisted to a table for two and we take our seats. The waiters hands us out the menu and I feel all giddy. 

The smell of the restaurants smells familiar and comforting. I don’t know why I haven’t visited an American breakfast diner ever since I moved here. 

The waiter takes our orders and we wait excitedly. 

“I missed this smell.” I say talking about the restaurant. “How’d you find out about this place?”

“I grew up in the States. We lived there until I was 6 I think so I was used to eating pancakes for breakfast. When we moved, my mom said I found it hard to adjust to Korean food so she brought me here almost everyday to eat. I remember coming here until I was 12 I think and if I’m home on no work days, we come here to eat as a family.”

“Do you remember your life in the states?”

“Not really. I was too young then. Most of my memories are here so I don’t really talk about the life I had there.”

I nod. We talk a little bit more about his childhood before our food arrives. 

He happily digs in into his pancakes and eggs and as much as I love Korean food, nothing will ever beat bacon and pancakes. 

This is already the best first date ever. 

HANBIN’S POV

I’ve been fidgety since I left the dorm. 

I text her once I arrive outside her building and I wait patiently. After a few minutes of waiting, I realize she didn’t reply to my message. 

Has she fallen asleep? I want to call her but what id she was asleep then I disturbed her. 

I didn’t think this through. But I was going to be busy the next few days because of the news song coming out and rehearsals for the dance and the concert and then I have to fly to Japan the next week for a week. I want to spend all of my free time with her. 

I wait a few minutes more and I see her walking out of the building. I huge smile plasters my face as she walked towards my car. 

I unlock the car and she gets in. She smells good. She doesn’t have a strong perfume on but she smells so good. This is one thing I noticed since we first met; she always smelled good. 

“Hi.”

She gives me a smile back and says, “Hi.” 

She fastens her seatbelt. I should’ve been the one to but i’m still kind kn awe this is all happening. 

“I wasn’t expecting you to come.”

I wasn’t expecting myself to jump out of my bed at almost 5am just to see you either. Jaeho hyung’s probably going to kill me when he finds out but it’s already going to be worth it. 

“I didn’t think I could wait another day without seeing you.” And I just said my thoughts out loud again. 

A smile spreads to her lips. She’s blushing. 

I was planning to take her to my favorite American diner and I was so glad to know she loved pancakes. There are only a few American diners here. 

The waiter takes our orders and she was grinning the whole time she was scanning the menu. She’s happy. So far so good, Hanbin ah. 

She asks me about the life I had in the States but I honestly don’t remember it that much because 1. I was way too young and 2. nothing remarkable really happened while we were there. 

We dig in into our pancakes and we start talking about past relationships. 

I’ve always wanted to ask her if she’s ever been in a relationship but it never really came up. Until now. 

“Have you ever had a boyfriend?” I was scared the question would make her uncomfortable so I tell her not to answer if she didn’t want to but she seemed unbothered by it. 

“Yep.” She answers confidently. “Once. In high school.”

“What happened?”

“We started going out when I was a sophomore up until I was a senior. He wanted to do things I wasn’t ready to do so he cheated on me with my best friend. I found out right after graduation and I think it was a blessing in disguise. I was about to leave for college so when I came here I really started anew.”

“Do you have his number? I want to thank him for letting you go.” I joked and she laughed. She has the best laugh. 

“How about you? You probably bring all your girlfriends here too? I noticed you know the places where not a lot of people go to so you probably date a lot.”

I laugh. 

“This is my first date.” Embarrassing to admit but it really is. 

She drops her mouth in disbelief and she shakes her head. “That’s just impossible.”

I nod. “It’s true. You can ask anybody. Even my fans know. Sunny probably knows.”

She purses her lips shut and nods. 

There’s always a new thing I notice every time I meet her. Today, I noticed how pretty her lips were. 

“You’ve never really been out with a girl? Ever? Does that mean you haven’t kissed anyone?”

I’m surprised by her blunt question. “I’ve never been in a relationship so I’ve never been on a date but there are instances where I meet new people or friends bring over friends and you know, stuff happens.”

“Stuff? You mean...?”

“No. No. Not that stuff. Just the kissing part but nothing over that.” 

“Anyone famous?” I laugh at her nosey-ness. 

“I don’t kiss and tell.”

“Gentleman.” She teased. 

“I try to be.”

She nods. Everything seems to be okay with her. 

“Have you ever been in love?” She asks seriously. 

“I don’t know if it was love but there was this girl I really liked in middle school but she didn’t like me back so I got heartbroken. I wrote her more than 10 songs.”

She opens her mouth wide and laugh. 

“Not that I think about it, I don’t think i’ve ever been in love. Not that I didn’t want to, there was just no one to love.” Until you came. 

“Same.” 

I stare at her and she stares at me back. We both smile at each other like we understood what the other was thinking. 

My phone rings and I see Jaeho hyung calling. He asks where I am and what I was doing out in broad daylight and asked me to come home immediately. 

“I have a schedule today. I’m sorry.”

We’ve been done eating 30 minutes ago and just got into the conversation. 

“It’s okay. I can take a cab home. You can go ahead.”

Like i’d actually let her go home alone. 

We get up from the booth and I take her hand in mine. She flinches at first but then she takes it. I can see her smiling from behind. I think i’m actually good at this dating thing. 

I drag her slowly out the diner and she follows behind obediently. I open her side of the car and she gets in. I fasten her seatbelt for her and I can hear her hold her breath. 

I run to the other side of the car and get in. I fasten my seatbelt and I look behind the car so that I can back out. 

I notice her when I turn and she was turning red. 

“You’re blushing.” 

She holds her cheeks with both her hands. “I didn’t realize that I was.”

“You’re cute.”

“You make me nervous.”

“In a bad way?”

She turns to look at me and shakes her head. 

I look at her and damn she’s beautiful. I examine her face and this is the first time i’ve seen her in broad daylight. It’s like i’m seeing her again but now in HD. 

My eyes find their way to her lips. I want to kiss her. I’ve never wanted to kiss anyone like how I want to now. I’m fighting every urge not to act impulsively on this. She’s special to me. Very special. And I want our first kiss to be special too. Not in my car while I was backing up because I couldn’t wait because she looked so damn beautiful. I’ll kiss her when it’s right and when she’s ready. 

ERIN’S POV

He’s staring at me and I cant help but stare at him back. I never noticed how dark his pupils were until now. I think his nose is too big but it’s the perfect size for his face. And he has pink, soft-looking lips.

I notice he’s staring at my lips and my heart beats faster. He closes his eyes and he takes a deep breath. 

“You’re very beautiful, Park Erin. I just wanted to let you know.” 

And just like that, I can feel my face heating up again. Nobody has ever had this effect on me. It’s crazy. 

He grabs something from the back seat and he places it on top of my head. 

I take it and look at it. It was a burberry cap. 

I give him a confused look and he laughs. 

“I need a reason to see you again so pretend you forgot to give it back after borrowing it.”

“You can see me whenever you like we’re dating remember?”

“Yeah but I have managers and a boss who acts like a mom so I’m afraid I can’t see you as often as I want to. I mean I can, but it’ll be hard.”

I pout. 

He pushes my hair to the back of my ears and he fixes the cap on my head. 

“Don’t worry. You’re worth every scolding.”

“I was just kidding. I don’t mind waiting for you. Just do your job well and rest well also. I’ll take whatever time you have left.”

“You make me fall for you harder and harder every time we’re together. And even when we’re not together. Did you cast a spell on me?”

I laugh. 

This guys is so unpredictable. I can never expect what he’s going to say but it always makes me feel good. 

I quint my eyes. “I could say the same.”

We laugh and his phone rings again. 

“On my way i’m driving.” 

He says as soon as he answered. 

“We have to go. I’m running really late the members are going to kill me.”

He backs the car out now for real and he drives me home. 

And yep, best first date EVER. 

HANBIN’S POV

December 14, 2018

5:43 am

We’ve seen each other this week 6 times only. She’s been busy with school because she had exams before Christmas break and I had recordings and rehearsals which ended during the wee hours of the night. So it’s visits at her place a few hours before going to bed and a few minutes visit at the coffee shop while she studied. I asked her to go to Jinhwan hyung’s unnie’s coffee shop since she had a private room made for meetings and people would expect me to be there and not suspect anything. 

I fly to Japan tomorrow and I’m going to be there until the 24th because of the concert. 

I invited her to come but she’s spending Christmas with her family in the States and I can’t take away the only time she gets to go home. 

LDR is so awful and it haven’t even started yet. 

I’m outside her building waiting for her to get out. It’s barely 6am but it’s the only time we have. She has classes at 9 until 5 in the afternoon and has a shoot after classes so we decided to have breakfast together. 

She gets in the car and I drive to our now usual diner. 

We order the same thing we did the last time we went and we enjoy the fee hours we get to spend together. 

I glance a look behind her while I spoke and I see familiar faces coming in the restaurant. 

Oh god. This can’t be happening. 

“Oppa!” Hanbyul shouts from afar. My mom looks  
to my direction and waves happily as she saw me. 

Erin looks behind her and looks back at me immediately. She’s in a slight panic not knowing what to do so I tell her to calm down. 

My mom and Hanbyul walks towards our table and Erin and I get up to greet them. 

Erin bows to my mom and is too shy to look back up. 

I take her hand and she looks at me like i’m a crazy person. She tries to pull away her hand from mine but I grip it tight. 

“Eomma, Hanbyulie, this is Erin. My girlfriend.” The three girls look at me shockingly. 

My mom points at Erin. 

“This face liked this face?” Okay she was teasing me. I know mom, she’s way to good for me. 

She laughs and Erin lets out a nervous laugh as well. 

My mom cups my face with her hand. “You did well my son” She says proudly. 

I smile and give her a hug. 

“Wanna say hi to Erin unnie?” I tell Hanbyul. 

“Annyeong unnie. You’re pretty.”

Erin giggles and says thanks. I rub the top of Hanbyul’s hair and she gets mad at me for messing it up. 

“Sit, sit.” My mom says. 

Erin is now seated beside me and my mom and Hanbyul across. They order their usuals and looks at us. 

My mom seemed so happy and excited. 

“I called you to invite you. I didn’t know you were already here.” 

I cap my jacket and pockets to look for my phone and I realize I left it at the car. 

“My phone’s in the car. Sorry.”

She nods and she turns to Erin. 

She asks her a bunch of questions about school and work and how proud she feels that Erin was about to graduate from college. She’s really acting like she’s her child. 

Erin talks to her until she loosens up and and starts getting comfortable. They talk about girl stuff including Hanbyul in the conversation and leaving me out. 

They start laughing hard and at things I don’t know the meaning of. 

I go back to my food and finish it while they took their time to eat and chat. 

My mom and sister just took the time I had left with my Erin. 

“Eomma, I need to use the washroom.” Hanbyul says. They excuse themselves and proceed to the washroom. 

“I’m sorry about this.”

“No. I’m having fun. Your mom’s cool.”

“I can see you’re having fun you totally forgot I was here.”

She laughs and then she leans over to my chest and wraps her arms around my tummy. 

“Did you realize you called me your girlfriend?”

I was going to ignore I did that. We never really talked about labels yet. We’ve been closer than ever and it feels like i’ve been going out with her for years when it’s only been almost a week and I never asked her because I didn’t want her to think I was rushing her. 

“Do you not like it?” I ask. 

“My heart skipped a beat when you did so I guess I do.”

I push her away from me and I hold either her arms. 

“So you agree on being my girlfriend? Like official girlfriend? Like in a relationship girlfriend?”

She laughs and she nods. 

I pull her back to me and I kiss the side of her head. I push her slowly away and I cup her face with my hands and I kiss her on the lips not caring whether there was anyone looking or not. I pull away after 2 seconds and she’s smiling from ear to ear. 

That kiss was almost as good as the first one when I first stepped into her house and she was in her pajama’s because she was about to sleep and I haven’t seen her in two days and it killed me and so when I saw her I took hear lips immediately to mine and I was so happy she responded positively. 

“You can’t take it back okay?”

She nods and my mom and Hanbyul walks back out of the washroom. 

We talk about how we met and how we started and my mom was excited to hear everything about it. 

“I still don’t get how you liked my son but thank you.”

“Eomma, I’m pretty handsome okay? I got my looks from you so don’t say things like that.”

She laughs. “That’s right. I’m sorry.”

They finish their breakfast and I told them I had to drive Erin to school now cause she was going to be late. 

My mom shoots me a worried look. 

“I drop her a few blocks away. The neighborhood is quiet. No one’s around most of the time.”

She smiles and nods. “Good.”

They say their goodbyes and I can see my mom was pleased to meet her. I really hit the jackpot. 

I drive Erin to school and right before she steps out of the car, I pull her back in and I close the door. 

I take my hand to her nape while my thumb caressed her cheek. 

“I love you.” I say out loud and clear for her to hear. “I’m not saying this because you just agreed to be my girlfriend or because i’m bursting of happiness right now. I’ve been wanting to say this to you the first time I met you and I know it doesn’t make sense because I didn’t even know you but that’s what love is right? It doesn’t make sense. Park Hae Rin, I love you.”

She’s staring at me and tears were forming in her eyes. 

“I love you too.” Tears fall from her eyes as she said the 4 words that will forever be stuck in my mind. 

I pull her face to me and I crash my lips to her. She tilts her mouth a bit open and I enter her and I caress her tongue softly with mine. We kiss until we’re both out of breath and pull out at the same time. Our foreheads touch with both eyes closed. 

“I going to be late.” Erin whispers. 

Our foreheads are still touching and I nod. I kiss her forehead before I let her go. 

Good thing i’m inside the car if not my knees would’ve given up on me. I watch her walk away from my car and I drive away when she turns to the corner. 

ERIN’S POV

December 15, 2018

2:02 am

3 more hours and i’ll be awake for a full day. My energy level is still at it’s peak. There’s still this adrenaline rush in me. This day has been all sorts of amazing. From  
meeting Hanbin’s mom and sister to finally being Hanbin’s girlfriend and that make out session in Hanbin’s car. I don’t know hoy this happened in a day but i’m not complaining. 

Hanbin leaves for Japan in a few hours but insisted on picking me up after work and sending me home. He hasn’t left but I already miss him. 

We order chicken from Mexicana because be insisted chicken should always be ordered from Mexicana and while waiting, I excused myself to take a shower. 

I can hear the chicken arrive and Hanbin screams out food’s here. 

I change quickly and rub my hair in a towel to dry and step outside. 

Hanbin was taking out the chicken boxes from the plastic while he was singing to Drake’s ‘Marvin’s Room’. He was moving and dancing along to the song twisting the stool he was sitting on. 

It’s supposed to be a sad song but how does he manage to dance to it sexily. 

He hears me from behind and twists the stool to face me. 

He scans me from head to toe and smirks. 

I was wearing an oversized shirt and super short shorts because I didn’t want to use the clothes I was going to bring with me to travel because I don’t have time to do laundry anymore. 

Once i’m a few feet away from him, he reaches for my hand and he pulls me to him. He wraps his arms around me and rests his head on my tummy. 

“I’m going to miss you so bad.”

I caress the back of his head while my arms rest on his shoulders. “Me too, baby.”

He looks up to me and I lower my face to him like I understood whatever he was thinking. He reaches out to my lips and kisses me as softly as he can. Our kiss turns into a full blown make out session but it was slow unlike earlier in the car. 

He was kissing me like I was delicate and fragile. I can feel that he was taking his time. 

My hands were ruffling his hair and his hands were still on my waist. He works them down to my hips without breaking the kiss and down to my legs under the large t-shirt. He caresses my legs up to my butt and I can feel his fingers crawling up to my skin above my waist. 

My whole body shivers at his every touch. 

He breaks the kiss and looks up to me in the eye. I can tell that he can tell that I want him as much as he wants me. 

He his brings back his lips to mine as we work our tongues out in harmony. His hands work their way up to my torso and into my back unhooking my bra. He looks at me playfully and brings back his soft lips onto mine. 

He caresses my boobs gently and my nipples harden at the touch of him. Our kiss begins to intensify slowly. He gets up from the chair and breaks the kiss. He looks at me in the eye and he moves my damp hair away from my face. “I love you baby. So damn much.” He leaves a kiss on my left eyes and tells me “I love you” after. He showers my face with kisses and I love you’d before he takes me and carries me up. I wrap my legs around him and we start making out again. 

He takes me to my bedroom and he puts me down after closing the door behind him. He tales my face into his hands and kiss me again now aggressively thank earlier. He lifts the hem of my shirt and pull up and off from me. He pulls off his hoodie and throw it where he threw my shirt and our naked bodies touch for the first time as he pulled me close to him to kiss me. 

He works his kisses down to my neck and I tilt my head to give him the space he needs. I moan at his kisses and he works his way lower. His lips find my boobs and he sucks them gently leaving me moaning at how good it feels. 

He grabs me in his arms again and he drops my back onto my bed. I slide up so that we’re not on the edge and he follows as he kissed me again on the lips. He positions himself on top and his kisses got lower and lower and he stops when he finds the hem of my shorts. He bites it and he pulls my shorts down assisted by his hands. I watch him as he takes off my shorts and I tilt my lower body up to make it easier for him. 

He goes back up to my face and he kisses me showing me how much he loves me and I kiss him back with just as much. 

He pulls away and he looks at me. 

“Do you want to do this?”

I nod. I’ve never wanted anything else in my life. 

He pulls off my lace underwear and he takes off his shorts and his boxers. He positions me up and kisses me again. I spread my legs for him and he assists his hard on to me. He enters me slowly and we both groan in unison. It hurts but it feels so good to have him inside me. He pulls out just until the tip of his member is inside and he pushes back in. He thrusts into me slowly and gently making sure it didn’t hurt so much for me. He kisses me on the lips as he continues to thrust and he goes faster and we both moan together at how good we feel together. 

We come at the same time and he pulls out from me slowly and drops his back down to the bed beside me. He finds his breath and he scoots closer to me and wraps me around his arms. 

He kisses the side of my head and rests his nose on my cheek while still panting. 

“How was it?” I wasn’t sure if he was asking about his performance or if he was worried he hurt me but I don’t care. 

“I want to do it again.” 

He laughs and kisses my cheek and positions himself on top of me again. 

He makes love to me two more times until we fall back down and sleep with no space in between us; my back in his chest with arms around me. 

HANBIN’S POV

I. HAVE. NO. WORDS.


End file.
